Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thursday's Ways Not To Die


Scream 2 (1997)

I knew I'd be doing a death scene from a Scream film for this week's Way Not To Die, what with Part 4 out at Midnight and all, but I couldn't decide, for weeks and weeks and weeks, which one I wanted to do. Two deaths from the original Scream trilogy have already gotten the treatment - those being Rose McGowan's run-in with a doggy door in the first film, and then from the second film that time Omar Epps got nosy in the movie theater bathroom. Would I go with the biggie, Drew Barrymore's for-the-record-books film opener? Or what about that time Parker Posey, beacon of light and bringer of the funny in the third film, got trapped in a hidden hall of mirrors? 

No, in the end it was the death of Randy Meeks (Jamie Kennedy) that won out, and that's due to one little fun fact: I actually cried when this scene happened. Cried! There's no crying in slashers! What can I say, I was a second-year film student obsessed with horror movies when this film came out... hmmm... it might be said that I identified some with Randy. Just some. And then wham, broad daylight, middle of a crowded park, the rules were unwritten and he didn't stand a chance. Poor fella.

Previous Ways Not To Die: Don't Mess With Mama -- Heads Ahoy -- Martyred For Sheep -- Heads Nor Tails -- He Loves Me Knot -- The Great Bouncing Brad -- Miss Kitty's 8 Mishaps -- Boat Smoosh -- Meeting the French-Tipped Menace -- A Magic Trick -- Slick Suck -- We Who Walk Here Walk Alone -- Raptor Bait -- Kneegasm'd -- Dare to Dream in Fincher -- Reach Out and Throttle Someone -- De-Faced -- Voluntary Drowning -- Cross Borne -- Pulled Up Hell's Sphincter -- An Arrow Up The Ass - The Numerous Violent Unbecomings of Olive Oyl -- Ack! Ack! Zap! -- Baby's First Acid Splash -- Chop, Drop and Sashimi Roll -- Forever Rafter -- Can't You Hear Me Now? -- Daisies Ways #5 - Harpoony Side Up -- Acid Dip -- On a Wing and a Prey -- For Standing in the Way of Sappho -- Busting Rule Number Three (For The Purpose of Number Two) -- Daisies #4 - Window Dressed To Killed -- Hands Off the Haas Orb -- Bullet Ballet -- A Single Vacancy at the Roach Motel -- A School Bus Slipped Thru The Ice -- Trache-AAHHHH!!!-tomy'd - For Mel Gibson's Sins -- A Wide Stanced Slashing --- Daisies Ways #3 - Scratch n' Snuffed -- The Victim of a Viscous Hit & Run -- Curled -- Kabobbed -- Daisies Ways #2 - Aggravated Cementia -- Boo! Nun! -- 2009's Ways Not To Die -- Bug Scratch Fever -- Daisies Ways #1 - Deep Fat Fried in My Own Unique Blend of 500 Herbs & Spices -- By the Yard End of the Stick -- Screwed From A Very Great Distance -- A Righteous Bear-Jew Beatdown -- Fisted By Hugo Sitglitz -- Xeno Morphed -- Fuck-Stuck -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 4 -- Lava Bombed -- The Cradle Will Rock... Your Face Off!!! -- The Food of the Nilbog Goblins -- The Slugs Is Gonna Gitcha -- Phone Shark -- Hide The Carrot -- Sarlacc Snacked -- Avada Kedavra!!! -- Hooked, Lined and Sinkered -- "The Libyans!" -- Axe Me No Questions -- Pin the Chainsaw on the Prostitute -- The Wrath of the Crystal Unicorn -- The Ultimate Extreme Make-Over -- Drown In A Sink Before The Opening Credits Even Roll -- The Dog Who Knew Too Much -- Don't Die Over Spilled Milk -- Inviting the Wrath of Aguirre -- An Inconceivable Outwitting -- The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique -- Nipple Injected Blue Junk -- Your Pick Of The Deadly Six -- Thing Hungry -- Don't Fuck With The Serial Killer's Daughter -- DO Forget To Add The Fabric Softener -- Any Of The Ways Depicted In This Masterpiece Of Lost Cinema -- Rode Down In The Friscalating Dusklight -- Good Morning, Sunshine! -- Mornin' Cuppa Drano -- The Cylon-Engineered Apocalypse -- Tender-Eye-zed -- Martian Atmospheric Asphyxiation -- Maimed By A Mystical Person-Cat -- The Sheets Are Not To Be Trusted -- Handicapable Face-Hacked -- I Did It For You, Faramir -- Summertime In The Park... Of A Pedophile's Mind -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 -- Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye -- Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away -- Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door -- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue -- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head


Adam said...

Courtney Cox's hair in Scream 2 and Scream 3 are worse crimes than murder.

Jason Adams said...

I know it's awful but I sort of love her ridiculous blood-streaked locks in this one anyway. (There's no excuse for her slaughtered bangs in Part 3 though.)

Ilka said...

Oh my god, I still remember how upset this made me!!! I loved him so much! Remember when you made me that awesome card? :)

Jason Adams said...

Oh god you're testing my fried brain, I don't remember the card! I'm terrible. I exist off of one put-upon brain cell these days though, please forgive him. I do totally remember us all going to a bunch of these slashers in this period, they had those free screenings on campus all the time.

Brittany said...

I made my mom bring me to see this when I was 13. I got so upset I ran out the theater crying. I had a big time crush on Randy. I still refuse to watch this scene.

Derreck said...

i'm so glad CC's epic scream made it into the post. The murder is not complete without it.

And i never knew people didn't like the red streaks in Scream 2. I totally thought she rocked it. Plus, it made her look more severe/tough like Gale should be.

If she gets gutted like a pig in Scream 4, i'll be VERY upset. The only time i can even remember seeing her in the commercials is with her confrontation with Ghostface. Dammit, Wes, i hope you didn't do it.

Joe Reid said...

"Scream 2" was the best of the trilogy, Courteney's-hair-wise. We forget the chunky blonde streaks in the first one.

Gale is the only character who absolutely CANNOT die in this new one. Sydney, Dewey ... whatever. Gale's gotta make it!

Shaun said...

I am so glad that I'm not the only one who was scarred by this Randy crush was in full blossom....then, BAM! So sad...I was in a funk for days after.

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