Tis the most glorious season of the year! No fuck the holidays, it's the time when people tell me what the worst movies of the previous year were and a knowing connoisseur of crap can set our your feelers for what transcends just bad and appears to be spectacularly bad, in a delicious way of course. And such a thing's presented itself this morning via this list of the ten worst movies of 2010 by Massawyrm at AICN."Standing Ovation is nothing but one inexplicable nonsequitur after another. Just when you think you have a bead on what the fuck this movie is doing BAM! it's doing something else entirely. Worse still, it feels like a Disney Channel film made with a complete and utter lack of adult supervision. There are dance routines performed in this by 12 year old girls that will destroy your career if anyone walks in on you watching it alone..
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You know what you didn't see? Scorpions. Mobsters. Gambling addiction. Oh, and the jaw dropping final 15 minutes of the film. This film is a complete and total mess and a goldmine for connesuirs of truly terrible cinema. I hear this thing tore the roof off of the New Beverly when it played and I have friends so deeply in love with the utter insanity of it all that they're pissed I've even considered it for my worst of list - let alone for the top spot. You've not seen anything quite like it - nor should you without alcohol, friends and a strap around your chin to keep your mouth closed."
Alright so who among you has seen this, and is it really as awesome as he makes it sound? Must know! I hadn't even heard of it until now. But I need to smile, says the sad clown curled up inside of me. Be quiet, sad clown.
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Watching that trailer woke up my sad clown. He's now energized with the pure depression I felt while viewing - he may be awake for weeks...
It's not just bad, it's cynical. It's one thing to watch "The Room" and gaze with wonder at how spectacularly they failed (when it appears they were honestly trying), but it would be another to experience this complete and utter atrocity (and I feel comfortable in saying that after only watching the trailer - that was soul-sucking enough). I'd have to be more than drunk - I'd have to be comatose. And I bet I would still hate it.
Ugh.
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