(I posted the following post last year in honor of John Waters' birthday, and I'm re-posting it this year because this shit still makes me laugh my ass of. Happy birthday, John!)
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Although it's not that strange a happening for one of my first waking thoughts to be a random snippet of dialogue from a John Waters movie - seriously, this happens all the time; I'll just be staring at my tube of toothpaste and I'll want to scream, "Just cause you got them big udders don't mean you're somethin' special!" - but this morning it happening meant something, something I wasn't aware of at the time.See, it's John Waters' birthday today! Hooray! The man the myth the pervert is turning
give me a break!" I was actually doing that in honor of Mr. Waters today. Yay! Kismet!And see, I still didn't realize it was John Waters' birthday when I stuffed my DVD of Female Trouble into my bag when I left the office this morning, fully intending to do a post on the film since I was giggling about my Taffy moment all morning long. But here it is, his birthday, making this all the sweeter. Love you, John! Have a great fucking day, you filthy fucking asshole!
So here are five randomly chosen favorite moments from Female Trouble. Are these my absolute favorites? No, that'd be impossible, I love this film from .001 seconds to the last. But these are some of the less obvious goodies... I'm avoiding the regulars, the cha-cha heels and the oxygen-balls, for some smaller laughs in between.
Dawn Davenport: You want your spaghetti with or without cheese?
Donna Dasher: I'll have two chicken breasts please.
Dawn Davenport: Well, uh, we're not having that, we're having spaghetti.
Donna Dasher: I couldn't possibly eat spaghetti, do I look Italian?
Donald Dasher: We rarely eat any form of noodle. But I'll take a small portion to be polite, with cheese, please.
Donna Dasher: I'll have an extremely large glass of ice-water.
Aunt Ida: Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Ernie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?
Ernie: I'm sure, miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.
School snitch: Mr. Wineburger, Dawn Davenport is eating a meatball sandwich right out in class and she's been passing notes!
Gator: I got off on it! I really got off on it!
Dawn Davenport: Oh DID you? Well, hip hip hooray for your cheap climax! What about ME, fuck face?
Earl Peterson: I'm sorry... I been drinking..
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3 comments:
Thanks for the reminder of why I love this movie so much. Here's another reason:
Dawn (to Taffy, who is impatiently stamping her foot): You can't go to school because I said so. I won't have you nagging me for lunch money and whining for help with your homework. There is no need to know about presidents, wars, numbers or science. Just listen to me and you'll learn.
Ha yes!
Also Dawn: I've DONE everything a mother can do: I've locked her in her room, I've beat her with the car aerial. Nothing changes her. It's HARD being a loving mother!
That 'car aerial' line always slays me and, like you, bits of other dialogue will pop into my head at the most random of times.
I love when Dawn sees herself after the bandages are removed and says 'Pretty? Pretty pretty?"
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