A Happiest All Hallows To Y'all And Yours!

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I mentioned this in passing a couple of weeks back but I am off as of this afternoon for a long weekend of gory and ghoulish activities and won't be around to post again until Tuesday. So I hope everyone has the merriest of unholy holidays this weekend!

In fact, use the comments here to tell me all about your holiday! It's my favoritest holiday of all (shocker) and I wanna know what you did. Did you dress up? As what? Tell me, dammit! Did you scare the trick-r-treaters? Give them apples instead of candy and subsequently (deservedly) get t-p'd? Did you do the t-p-ing? Share! And everyone have a good one. Say a prayer unto Vincent Price. And I will... see you next Tuesday! (heh)
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Hands Up & Grab The Wall, Michael Fassbender

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Dunno if you remember Blood Creek, the Joel Schumacher movie about occult-worshipping Nazis that got dropped into a few dollar theaters with no warning whatsoever a few weeks back, but STYD has had some news on it - firstly, it's getting a DVD release on January 19th.

And secondly, they have a pair of new pics from it, that one above of star (and MNPP crush) Michael Fassbender looking positively dastardly (swoon), and then another Fassbender-less one at their site. Mmmm Fassbender. All about the Fassbender! It really is at the point where I will watch absolutely anything that he's in. But I must say that occult-worshiping Nazis are a definite bonus.
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Eleven Frames From The Descent

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Two Boo Bits

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--- Re Xenomorph - In a chat with Empire, Ridley Scott speaks up a lil' bit on the Alien prequel he is now working on. Choice bit:

“It’s a brand new box of tricks,” said Sir Ridley. “We know what the road map is, and the screenplay is now being put on paper. The prequel will be a while ago. It’s very difficult to put a year on Alien, but [for example] if Alien was towards the end of this century, then the prequel story will take place thirty years prior.”

As I've stated every time the subject's come up I have mixed feelings about Scott returning to the franchise he mastered way back in '79 - I think he's becoming a crappy film-maker - but I'm such a sucker for this monster I'll never not go see one of the movies. Well that's not entirely true I suppose, I did skip the last AVP movie. Even I have my limits, people! They're malnourished as hell and hanging on by the thinnest of threads, but they're there.

--- And then there's this fun news via Slash:

"Grindhouse Releasing is bringing Sam Raimi’s original horror classic THE EVIL DEAD back to the big screen as a midnight movie.

Raimi and producers Robert Tapert and Bruce Campbell gave the go-ahead for a series of EVIL DEAD revival screenings to Grindhouse Releasing partner Bob Murawski, the film editor of Raimi’s SPIDER MAN 1, 2 & 3, DRAG ME TO HELL and the EVIL DEAD sequel ARMY OF DARKNESS.

Stephen King hailed THE EVIL DEAD as “the most ferociously original film of the year”? when the film premiered in 1981. Shot in Michigan and Tennessee, Raimi’s low-budget debut was released independently with a self-imposed ‘No One Under 17′ rating for its graphic violence and gore.

... “Nothing can prepare an audience for what they are about to see, because nothing punishes an audience like EVIL DEAD - especially on the big screen,” says Bruce Campbell. “I’m really glad it’s back. People are gonna be hurt.”

Formed by actor/director Sage Stallone and Murawski, Grindhouse Releasing restores and distributes classic horror and exploitation films. The company teamed with Quentin Tarantino in the ’90s to revive Lucio Fulci’s Italian horror classic THE BEYOND.

A similar theatrical break is planned for THE EVIL DEAD, with midnight screenings in select theaters across the U.S. and Canada."

This news doesn't really mean much to me because I'm fairly certain the film's played about one thousand times at screenings in the years I've lived here in NYC , but for those of you who don't live in an obscene-cinematic-wonderland this probably means y'all will get a shot at seeing that bad-ass Ash super-big real soon, which rocks. Here's the trailer for The Evil Dead just cuz tis the season and what-not:

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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Terry was once just a mild-manned girl, innocent,
filled with dreams and hopes like any other girl...

... UNTIL SHE WENT BAD!

Smoking dope, doing all kinds of stuff!


Dancing with strange men! Out all night!

REEFER!!!

Then along came this sweet couple, Roman and Minnie...


They didn't have to help her... but they did...

They helped her... STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!


Their charity isn't borne a CHRISTIAN birth...
It spills straight out of...


SATAN'S MAD WOMB!!!


Best beware! Don't answer the door!


Or they'll get you next!


And now, won't you please...


PRAY FOR ROSEMARY'S BABY!

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Previous Ways Not To Die: The Cradle Will Rock... Your Face Off!!! -- The Food of the Nilbog Goblins -- The Slugs Is Gonna Gitcha -- Phone Shark -- Hide The Carrot -- Sarlacc Snacked -- Avada Kedavra!!! -- Hooked, Lined and Sinkered -- "The Libyans!" -- Axe Me No Questions -- Pin the Chainsaw on the Prostitute -- The Wrath of the Crystal Unicorn -- The Ultimate Extreme Make-Over -- Drown In A Sink Before The Opening Credits Even Roll -- The Dog Who Knew Too Much -- Don't Die Over Spilled Milk -- Inviting the Wrath of Aguirre -- An Inconceivable Outwitting -- The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique -- Nipple Injected Blue Junk -- Your Pick Of The Deadly Six -- Thing Hungry -- Don't Fuck With The Serial Killer's Daughter -- DO Forget To Add The Fabric Softener -- Any Of The Ways Depicted In This Masterpiece Of Lost Cinema -- Rode Down In The Friscalating Dusklight -- Good Morning, Sunshine! -- Mornin' Cuppa Drano -- The Cylon-Engineered Apocalypse -- Tender-Eye-zed -- Martian Atmospheric Asphyxiation -- Maimed By A Mystical Person-Cat -- The Sheets Are Not To Be Trusted -- Handicapable Face-Hacked -- I Did It For You, Faramir -- Summertime In The Park... Of A Pedophile's Mind -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 -- Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye -- Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away -- Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door -- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue -- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head
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There Is Something Wrong With Me

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Take one moderately handsome fellow, splatter him with a bunch of blood and gore, and what do you get? Well according to my brain you get an even more handsome fellow. I don't know. I'm weird! But watching this video (via Twitch) only proved that slightly more than living with myself day in and out already has. So yeah. This is a funny Halloween faux-infomercial directed by Adam Green, the director of Hatchet, and starring Paul Solet, the director of Grace. Oh and it's NSFW by the way.

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

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Today I wish I was...

... on the Moon with multiple Sam Rockwells.
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Another Evil Armoire!

Firstly I think I should be calling these pieces of furniture "bureaus" instead of armoires, shouldn't I? It's too late now really, after already naming the one in The Exorcist on Monday The World's Scariest Armoire, but I just want it known that I am semi-confused on what the correct name for these types of furniture should be.

Anyway! As I said I posted on the "armoire" in The Exorcist the other day and then while watching Rosemary's Baby last night I realized that there's another scary armoire known to horror! The one that blocks all of Mrs. Gardenia's "vacuum cleaner and her towels" aka the closet with the secret door to the Castavet's apartment:

Eek!

Okay it's not nearly as scary as the one in The Exorcist is, but it deserves mention anyway. And from here I'm suddenly thinking of the writing desk that holds the rubber ball in The Changeling...

Boo!

There's all sorts of scary furniture, isn't there?
Anybody got any others that come to mind?

Oooh, the chair that attacks Siggy in Ghostbusters!


(Not to mention her fridge.)
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Election (1999)

Tracy Flick: None of this would have happened if Mr. McAllister hadn't meddled the way he did. He should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer.

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"Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?"

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Need to wish a very happy birthday to Annie Potts today too.

I always loved her as Janine Melnitz in the Ghostbusters films - although that romantic subplot with her and Rick Moranis in part 2 grossed me out (then again I was 12 and kissing always grossed me out during that period) - and then she went on to Designing Women and like any good gay-in-training I was forever devoted from there on out. Happy bday, Annie!
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And Speaking Of Matthew Bomer...

... I guess I'd be remiss in not posting these pictures since they've hit the internet right around the exact time I was just talking about him, but here he is making out with another dude:

(via) I suppose one could argue that these pictures do not prove him gay, per se, which seems to be the way that a bunch of crazy (homophobic) people are really actually reacting to them in crazy (homophobic) places like the IMDb boards and the like. All they prove is that he once comfortably stuck his tongue in another dude's mouth. And who hasn't done that anyway? But the gay rumors have been attached to this fellow for as long as I've known who he is, I even mentioned them in that gratuitous post I did of him in May of 2007. Blah blah blah, I just like looking at this, and that is enough reason in and of itself. And hey, Matty, look at it this way - you just bought yourself your very own label here at MNPP! Celebration! Grab the nearest guy with a camera and make out with him!
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Need... To... Breathe...

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Dune the book has beaten battered and bruised many a great filmmaker over the years - I'd say "poor David Lynch" but at least he managed to get one made, unlike so many - so I need to pull myself back from the ledge of making myself too excited over what is basically a whisper of a rumor of a rumor... BUT STILL. If this happened I would go blind from the orgasms. Via Slash:

"A new and curious rumour suggests that Peter Berg is no longer attached to the next big screen adaptation of Dune and the studio are shopping around for a new director. Normally, when rumours like this have something to them it’s been after a fair bit of radio silence but it hasn’t exactly been all quiet on the Atreides front, with Peter Berg discussing progress on the picture only a couple of months ago. Okay - it’s possibly more accurate to say he was discussing a lack of progress.

If this rumour is true, however, there’s a little more to it. As well as informing us that Berg and his Film 44 company have made a break for the door, the story goes that some frontrunning candidates for the canvas chair have already come in to focus: Neill Blomkamp and Neil Marshall. Bafflingly, it’s Marshall who is said to be the frontrunner."

First off, fuck that "baffingly" noise, Slash. Again, I don't wanna get too excited about the prospect of this thing's truth. I will just go home and build a little shrine to the possibility and sacrifice a bunch of virgins in its name is all. I do that every Wednesday anyway, so no big whoop.
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Paranormal's Other Ending

I suppose twas just a matter of time before one of the alternate endings for Oren Peli's Paranormal Activity made its way online... this was apparently the original ending for the film before it got man-handled by the suits. (via)

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Matthew Bomer Seven Times (Plus A Couple)

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Now that pretty-boy Mr. Bomer's got a new show I've been getting some traffic on ye olde gratuitous post of his from back when he had another new show... man goes through shows. But maybe this one, called White Collar, will stick? I don't know, I haven't watched it, but I have noticed all the subway posters and there are far worse things to look at when you're waiting for the train in the morning than his dreamy blue eyes. No, seriously, believe me, there are much much worse things to be staring at on any subway platform. Many many terrible things. My brain is filled with them, but I will not poison this pretty post with such filth... such degradation... no, here's some of Matthew Bomer from his new show with some clothes off instead. Much better! (all pics via)

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Elf Shot Lame Witch

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If any of you follow me on the Twitter machine then you maybe caught the Rosemary's Baby fit I had there last night. Sorry about that! It sorta snow-balled and I couldn't stop myself. Until Twitter stopped me that is - they apparently have a cut-off for the amount of tweets you can post? Who knew? Not me, since I hardly ever use that thing.

Anyway! What's weird is this: I started watching the film because I'd watched a documentary on filmmaker William Castle right before and it brought up the fact that he was the producer on Rosemary's Baby, which I'd spaced on. And it offered up the trivia that it's him playing the man outside of the telephone booth hovering behind Rosemary at a pivotal moment in the movie, something I'd never recognized until they pointed it out.


Anyway, just bring up Rosemary's Baby and I'll be swallowed whole by the desire to watch it. Happens every time. And then the Twitter thing came outta nowhere - I just started posting every line of the movie that amused me, which then turned out to be every other line of dialogue. Again, my apologies.

But this is the weird thing - Twitter cut me off right at the moment I was watching the film for, right when William Castle showed up on-screen outside the phone booth!

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???

Nothing. It means nothing, and I have wasted all y'all's time. Wha ha ha! Aww I'm sorry, baby. Here's eleven frames from the movie to make it all better.

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