Tuesday, October 06, 2009

What What WHAT?

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So I'm innocently clicking around news-stories just now, minding my own business, beginning to feel the boredom of the early afternoon weigh upon me, when I see a headline over at DH about Sharon Stone signing on for a movie. I really haven't ever written much on Miss Stone but she's my kinda crazy - I really almost always dig what she's selling. Yes even - especially! - in terrible movies like Catwoman or the Diabolique remake - she makes great camp in the sort of way we don't get often enough anymore. So I miss her and was interested to see what she'd signed on for. I didn't expect much - her career's not been too much of anything since that second (and criminally boring) Basic Instinct movie tanked - but like I said, I was bored and looking for anything. Here's how DH describes the film:

"Sharon Stone tells Prestige magazine that she's signed on to the Anya Camilleri-directed thriller "Satisfaction".

The story follows a male prostitute in London who loses both the wealthy older woman who has been taking care of him, and the escort agency he works for.

Searching for a new woman to take her place, he comes upon Stone's character and it seems the pair have fallen in love. When the agency starts sending him out on jobs again, he "starts trying to break her down... it's incredible what they do together: a very, very fascinating journey" says Stone."

I've never head anything this director Anya Camilleri, so I had no idea what to expect. It could be some straight-to-video Euro-trash flick, lingering on bosoms and sleek Ferraris... basically it could be Basic Instinct 3 just with 100% more man-whore and a little extra dash of cougar-itis.

But then, WHAM, the last sentence of this article hits:

"Chris Evans and Carice van Houten co-star."

!!! Oh... my... God! !!! Oh my God! Chris Evans! Male prostitute! Chris Evans... male prostitute. Chris Evans, male prostitute!


The gold-standard in this genre will of course always and forever be Richard Gere in American Gigolo, and if this film can sell Mr. Evans the way Gigolo did Mr. Gere, then you can expect me to buy a movie theater to live in for the rest of my life where this movie will be beamed 24/7. Although I really really hope Evans has ditched his publicist's terrible and stupid nudity ban. Foolishness!

Of course, Ashton Kutcher recently tried this sort of flick to no avail (although we did all appreciate the nakedness he employed in this pursuit, so thanks for that, Ashton), so it could go either way.

I do need to take a breath here, calm down, and also give love to the Carice Van Houten half of this equation, because I adore that woman and have ever since Verhoeven's Black Book and have hated the lack of her in my cinematic life, save a few dull scenes with nothing to do opposite Tom Cruise's floppy hair in Valkyrie.

Anyway. Yay Carice! Yay Sharon!
And... Chris Evans, male prostitute... EGADS.
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3 comments:

Wayne B said...

"Although I really really hope Evans has ditched his publicist's terrible and stupid nudity ban." Me too, I was so disappointed when I rented "Push" and there wasn't even ONE shirtless scene. What a gyp.

homeslaughter said...

Stone brings in the goods every now and then. Toe eating lizards and now this

Anonymous said...

Yay! Here's hoping there'll be a Verhouten/Stone/Evans/Evans' booty foursome!!