Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Bad And Bloody Rain

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The trailer for Ninja Assassin has been an odd beast, as far as my reaction to it has been concerned, in that I think it looks better - well, "better" isn't exactly the right word, since quality is not what I'm looking for in this movie... more like "more fun" - each new time I see it. Normally I get tired of watching the same trailer over and over again leading up to a film's release, and I actually thought the trailer for this film was just awful the first time I saw it, but slowly, somehow, my mind turned and I'm more enthusiastic about the film than ever before. I was always looking forward to Rain's hot ass covered in blood, but now I'm genuinely interested in some other junk, like how his hot ass gets covered in blood, and how much blood and hot ass is around altogether. You know, other junk.

All that is my way of getting to a couple of quotes from a pair of semi-scathing reviews at Twitch of the film from its screening at Fantastic Fest. Firstly:

"The biggest weakness of this film is the story and the script. This is poor philosophical melodrama territory with atrocious dialog and a weak story. The performances aren't helping the dialog either. Rain, while incredibly handsome, cut to shreds or not, isn't exactly a master thespian, limiting his sentences to two or three at a time while looking all serious and tormented. He moves good though, when you can see it and makes for a convincing action hero."

I love that the big weakness is just, oh, the story, the script, and all of the acting. Is that all, hmm? I guess the camera must stay on the tripod the entire time, at least. But mostly I pinpoint this quote because it cements my belief that Rain's hot ass covered in blood will be an agreeable experience to be had. Yay! And this second review is pretty hilariously harsh. Choice bit:

"Damn this film was poorly lit. I understand the whole thing about Ninjas using the dark and it would have been easy to ask if anyone ever thought about turning on the lights but it would also appear that Ninjas are also master electricians and can eliminate partial city blocks just to carry out their deadly plans. The trouble of course is that McTeigue could use this to his advantage and hide from us that he really doesn't have a fucking clue what he is doing when it comes to framing his action scenes. Perhaps it was so dark he himself couldn't see what he was shooting. That's why it would appear that he got too close to his subjects. Was that it James? Just say yes and I'll forgive you."

It's all downhill from there. So why do I still want to see this movie? It's just one of them things, man... one of them things...


... yeah, those things. Those things right there.
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