Monday, April 13, 2009

Vinyan Is A Piece Of Crap


I wasn't going to write anything about Vinyan, which I watched yesterday while cooped up Easter-style in the house, because I didn't really have anything to say (and I still don't, natch), but I was just reading this all-things-horror round-up post at Cinematical and Scott Weinberg, their trusty horror blogger, says this:

"Currently strewn across shelves are Donkey Punch and Vinyan, two festival-heavy horror films that couldn't possibly be more different. One's about venal young jerks, and the other is about heartbroken (but stupid) parents. Really bad things happen to all of them."

And I was all, "Yeah! They were so stupid!" mentally, I was all that, that is. Because I sat there through the ninety-minute movie just waiting for anything to happen, I kept thinking it might, but give or take a nicely shot moment or a crippled dude getting buried alive by mud-bombs, nada. Zilch.

But worse than nothing, these people were so fucking annoyingly stupid and the fact that I'm apparently angry at the movie has just hit me now. I was in such a state of indifference yesterday I didn't really notice that it had offended me, but now, out of my stupor, I am. Offended. Fuck you, Vinyan, for stealing part of my relaxing day with your stupidity.

One sort-of caveat: Rufus Swell looked better in this movie than I think he ever has before. The filthy with a five o'clock shadow thing worked really well with his sharp bug-eyed features.

It got me through, at least
(some previous Sewell-appreciation here).

And if you think you could be into watching Emmanuelle Béart roll around naked and get her boobs felt up by like fifty little boys at once for about two straight minutes of screen-time, well this movie could be the one for you.


dashdog said...

Thanks for saving me time. I'm dumping "Vinyan" from my Netflix queue. Right now! Unrelated, JA, but you MUST rent "Otto: Or Up With Dead People" -- it's fascinating and funny.

Jason Adams said...

I've seen Otto, dashdog, and yeah, it is both of those things. Also, hot. ;-)