5 Off My Head - A Thief & A Shitkicker

.

Although it's not that strange a happening for one of my first waking thoughts to be a random snippet of dialogue from a John Waters movie - seriously, this happens all the time; I'll just be staring at my tube of toothpaste and I'll want to scream, "Just cause you got them big udders don't mean you're somethin' special!" - but this morning it happening meant something, something I wasn't aware of at the time.

See, it's John Waters' birthday today! Hooray! The man the myth the pervert is turning 63 years old. So when I rolled out of bed and saw my boyfriend across the room and thought, "Writing a book, hippie? Why don't you go listen to some folk music and give me a break!" I was actually doing that in honor of Mr. Waters today. Yay! Kismet!

And see, I still didn't realize it was John Waters' birthday when I stuffed my DVD of Female Trouble into my bag when I left the office this morning, fully intending to do a post on the film since I was giggling about my Taffy moment all morning long. But here it is, his birthday, making this all the sweeter. Love you, John! Have a great fucking day, you filthy fucking asshole!

So here are five randomly chosen favorite moments from Female Trouble. Are these my absolute favorites? No, that'd be impossible, I love this film from .001 seconds to the last. But these are some of the less obvious goodies... I'm avoiding the regulars, the cha-cha heels and the oxygen-balls, for some smaller laughs in between.

Dawn Davenport: You want your spaghetti with or without cheese?
Donna Dasher: I'll have two chicken breasts please.
Dawn Davenport: Well, uh, we're not having that, we're having spaghetti.
Donna Dasher: I couldn't possibly eat spaghetti, do I look Italian?
Donald Dasher: We rarely eat any form of noodle. But I'll take a small portion to be polite, with cheese, please.
Donna Dasher: I'll have an extremely large glass of ice-water.

Aunt Ida: Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Ernie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?
Ernie: I'm sure, miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.

School snitch: Mr. Wineburger, Dawn Davenport is eating a meatball sandwich right out in class and she's been passing notes!

Gator: I got off on it! I really got off on it!
Dawn Davenport: Oh DID you? Well, hip hip hooray for your cheap climax! What about ME, fuck face?

Earl Peterson: I'm sorry... I been drinking.

.