I try to refrain from doing the dog-pile thing on Ben Lyons at this point, because really, what's the point? Beating up on him, as much as he deserves it (and he deserves it very very very much) just feels redundant.
But then I read a snippet of his Watchmen review (via this good article on the sucky reviews of Watchmen from all sides of the spectrum at Cinematical; no way did I seek out his review on my own) and my jaw falls right off:
Just... seriously? For reals? This is a person who was given a TV show? A TV show about movies? This is a person that somebody out there actually thought we would want to listen to? About movies?
I feel like this was said or written by an eight year old making their own pretend newspaper... and then I feel as if I've offended industrious eight year olds. I mean, I tried writing movie reviews when I was a kid and I honestly think if I went back and found some they would sound brighter than the words that just came out the face of the person who took over Roger Ebert's show. This is not a world I want to live in. This is a sign of the fucking apocalypse. I mean, fuck this just being about nepotism. Ben Lyons is a crime against all of humanity.
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But then I read a snippet of his Watchmen review (via this good article on the sucky reviews of Watchmen from all sides of the spectrum at Cinematical; no way did I seek out his review on my own) and my jaw falls right off:
"The Watchmen [sic] works for the same reasons that Batman and Iron Man did last year. The movie makes you think while simultaneously entertaining you. Sounds simple, but it's always the sign of a good film. And it seems like this is going to be the one film we're gonna see of this franchise. It wasn't like Zack Snyder was trying to setup the sequel. I really appreciate that."
Just... seriously? For reals? This is a person who was given a TV show? A TV show about movies? This is a person that somebody out there actually thought we would want to listen to? About movies?
I feel like this was said or written by an eight year old making their own pretend newspaper... and then I feel as if I've offended industrious eight year olds. I mean, I tried writing movie reviews when I was a kid and I honestly think if I went back and found some they would sound brighter than the words that just came out the face of the person who took over Roger Ebert's show. This is not a world I want to live in. This is a sign of the fucking apocalypse. I mean, fuck this just being about nepotism. Ben Lyons is a crime against all of humanity.
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7 comments:
Did Ironman make anyone think? I guess it did make me think that 9 times out of 10 that Downey Jr. is playing the same character and that Gweny is getting old.
I thought I was the only one who watched E! news (maybe I am). Mr. Lyons and I usually have very different in movies and about the only thing we both liked in a while was Milk. Btw isn't Ironman what's called a 'popcorn movie'
Why is it that the lowest common denominator is always getting his own TV show. If I wanted to hear critiques from a moron, I'd watch his father's show...
I'd like to point out the stupidity of the SEQUEL comment.
*points*
Anyone who has read Watchmen (as he claims to have done twice) knows there is no way in hell a sequel could exist.
Dumbass.
http://www.efilmcritic.com/feature.php?cat=benlyons&latest=1
God I hate him - with a passion!
That's how I used to write film reviews when I was in high school. Christ. Also, get the movie titles right. The Watchmen? Batman? Ugh.
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