The Greatest Movie...

... in which, handed the choice within a single shot in the middle of the climactic battle scene between looking to the left side of the frame where the bad guy is being all blah-blah-blah I'm bad or to the right side where Jason Statham's ass is filling the screen, there is but one choice to make and you love the director for allowing such an ingenious distraction from the bad guy's blah-blah-ness?

Transporter 3 (2008)

This movie is otherwise known as The Greatest Movie to feature not one, not two, not three, but FOUR count them FOUR sequences that really only exist to get Jason Statham to strip out of his clothes. Seriously, I'm not fucking with you. FOUR scenes that go to great lengths, that underline, the undressing of Jason Statham. Let's count it up and see!

Jason Statham Strips #1: He only takes his jacket off this time; this is really just a warm-up for what's to come. But honestly, he looks fine with just his jacket off, so I'm good here.

Jason Statham Strips #2: This entire sequence was pretty much shown in the film's trailer (capped by me previously here); they knew who they were selling their movie to (at least partly)! This is my theory in reverse - we fetishistically watch him get re-dressed here.


Jason Statham Strips #3: Might this be the greatest fight scene in all of recorded man-made history? it certainly adheres to The Cardinal Law of Fight Scenes: any fight scene is made ten billion times better by having it include a half-naked Jason Statham. And I probably took too many caps here but fuck it, and fuck restraint: if there's one thing I don't know how to stop it's taking screen-grabs of a half-naked Jason Statham. Never! I'll never let go!

Really? That is just ridiculous and hysterical.


Sad that they didn't find a character for him to strangle
with his trousers though, isn't it?

Jason Statham Strips #4: And finally, the film actually just goes there and has the film's main female character force him to stand there in front of the camera and take off his clothes.

Bravo, movie. Bra-fucking-vo.
So in summation: marry me, director Oliver Megaton.

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