Thursday, February 12, 2009

Quote of the Day

I was surprised to see that Roger Ebert had a review up today of Friday the 13th since I really kinda sorta never expect horror films to be screened for critics anymore. But there the review was, and Roger doesn't disappoint. Surprisingly, instead of retreating to one of his old "horror movies are garbage" stances that he sometimes retreats to thereby conjuring up some of the few times he's annoyed me, he has fun with his review and gives about as positive a review as one could imagine coming from him. The part that tickled me most is listening to him describe all that Jason Voorhees has been through in the past though:

"So far in the series, he has been drowned, sliced by a machete in the shoulder, hit with an ax in the head, supposedly cremated, aped by a copycat killer, buried, resurrected with a lightning bolt, chained to a boulder and thrown in the lake again, resurrected by telekinesis, drowned again, resurrected by an underwater electrical surge, melted by toxic waste, killed by the FBI, resurrected through the possession of another body, returned to his own body, thrown into hell, used for research, frozen cryogenically, thawed, blown into space, freed to continue his murder spree on Earth 2, returned to the present, faced off against Freddy Krueger of "Nightmare on Elm Street," drowned again with him, and made to emerge from Crystal Lake with Freddy's head, which winks.

I know what you're thinking. No, I haven't seen them all. Wikipedia saw them so I didn't have to. The question arises: Why does Jason continue his miserable existence, when his memoirs would command a seven-figure advance, easy?"

1 comment:

Glenn Dunks said...

Last night I watched this doco called His Name Was Jason and they showed Ebert briefly describing one of the films on Siskel and Ebert. He was not impressed. At all.