Marcus Nispel's Friday the 13th made a whopping 42.2 million dollars (!) this weekend, pretty much guaranteeing that a thirteenth Friday movie is gonna get made. I'd guess that the movie could've made a quarter of that and we'd have been seeing a sequel, so 42.2 seems to present a no-brainer.
And it was good to see Jason hulking across the screen making mincemeat of a-holes again, I'll give the film that. But reading that Nispel & Co. apparently:
A) Don't find campgrounds scary
B) Find the signature Jason sound-effect (the "ch-ch-ch ha-ah-ah" sound) distracting, and
C) Do not like mixing sex and violence together
Well those things give me pause. No, not pause... fast-forward rage. Because those, for better or worse, are kind of all that Friday the 13th are about. You could bacially take Jason's hockey mask off in Nispel's film and replace it with Leatherface's human-mask in Nispel's equally humorless Texas Chain Saw remake and these would be the same film (shout-out to Glenn for noticing the similarities in the trailers of the two films way back when). Or any random killer stalking kids in the woods in any random slasher film. There was just something inherently Jason missing here, and it appears that that was due to the problems that the filmmakers had with the things that are inherently Jason.
Why does Jason live in an underground mine in the film? Because Nispel wanted him to. Period. Cuz as Stacie points out an underground mine right next to a lake makes total sense. Did Nispel want to direct the My Bloody Valentine remake and not get to? Is that his damage?
And anyone that doesn't think campgrounds are scary has never spent a night at camp in their lives.
As for the not mixing sex and violence thing, I have to give the boyfriend credit for calling this out as the bullshit it is - Nispel appears to have just a problem with sexuality period, and on a couple of levels. First off, in the gratuitous "I wanted the guys to take off their clothes too" sense, none of the guys give up any skin in this movie. Padalecki wears a wonderfully snug T-shirt for the majority of the film, and a couple guys are seen shirtless from basically the shoulders up, but that's about the best we get.
And this was disappointing, sure, especially after giving praise to all the guy-goodness the series has given us in the past, but I could've dealt with it if it hadn't been so completely lopsided exploitation-wise. Because make no mistake, nearly every single female (save a couple) takes their top off in this film. There are boobs flying every which way. And the Friday series certainly has the reputation as one of the leading sources of boob-sploitation, but there was... I don't know, something ugly about it here. There was no fun in any of it, and the women were shot really unattractively, I thought. Maybe he just didn't like that aspect of the series , but that comes back around to well then why did you decide to make this movie then, Marcus Nispel? And that shot underneath the dock (if you've seen the movie you know what of I speak) was mixing sex and violence, and in the ugliest manner imaginable, Nispel. So what's his damage?
I hope there is a sequel because I never want Jason to die, I want to be wheeled out to see Friday the 13th #35 when I'm in a retirement home. But I hope they hand the reins to someone who actually likes what the movies are about next time, and with this flick making so much money I think they'll take that as a stamp of approval on what Nispel has done. Maybe Nispel will allow somebody else to do it, hopefully having realized that he doesn't like what the series is about. Somebody who'll open the fucking camp again, use the damned sound effect again, and not hate all of his characters so thoroughly.
.
And it was good to see Jason hulking across the screen making mincemeat of a-holes again, I'll give the film that. But reading that Nispel & Co. apparently:
A) Don't find campgrounds scary
B) Find the signature Jason sound-effect (the "ch-ch-ch ha-ah-ah" sound) distracting, and
C) Do not like mixing sex and violence together
Well those things give me pause. No, not pause... fast-forward rage. Because those, for better or worse, are kind of all that Friday the 13th are about. You could bacially take Jason's hockey mask off in Nispel's film and replace it with Leatherface's human-mask in Nispel's equally humorless Texas Chain Saw remake and these would be the same film (shout-out to Glenn for noticing the similarities in the trailers of the two films way back when). Or any random killer stalking kids in the woods in any random slasher film. There was just something inherently Jason missing here, and it appears that that was due to the problems that the filmmakers had with the things that are inherently Jason.
Why does Jason live in an underground mine in the film? Because Nispel wanted him to. Period. Cuz as Stacie points out an underground mine right next to a lake makes total sense. Did Nispel want to direct the My Bloody Valentine remake and not get to? Is that his damage?
And anyone that doesn't think campgrounds are scary has never spent a night at camp in their lives.
As for the not mixing sex and violence thing, I have to give the boyfriend credit for calling this out as the bullshit it is - Nispel appears to have just a problem with sexuality period, and on a couple of levels. First off, in the gratuitous "I wanted the guys to take off their clothes too" sense, none of the guys give up any skin in this movie. Padalecki wears a wonderfully snug T-shirt for the majority of the film, and a couple guys are seen shirtless from basically the shoulders up, but that's about the best we get.And this was disappointing, sure, especially after giving praise to all the guy-goodness the series has given us in the past, but I could've dealt with it if it hadn't been so completely lopsided exploitation-wise. Because make no mistake, nearly every single female (save a couple) takes their top off in this film. There are boobs flying every which way. And the Friday series certainly has the reputation as one of the leading sources of boob-sploitation, but there was... I don't know, something ugly about it here. There was no fun in any of it, and the women were shot really unattractively, I thought. Maybe he just didn't like that aspect of the series , but that comes back around to well then why did you decide to make this movie then, Marcus Nispel? And that shot underneath the dock (if you've seen the movie you know what of I speak) was mixing sex and violence, and in the ugliest manner imaginable, Nispel. So what's his damage?
I hope there is a sequel because I never want Jason to die, I want to be wheeled out to see Friday the 13th #35 when I'm in a retirement home. But I hope they hand the reins to someone who actually likes what the movies are about next time, and with this flick making so much money I think they'll take that as a stamp of approval on what Nispel has done. Maybe Nispel will allow somebody else to do it, hopefully having realized that he doesn't like what the series is about. Somebody who'll open the fucking camp again, use the damned sound effect again, and not hate all of his characters so thoroughly.
.
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8 comments:
Damn, the only reason I'd want to see this mess if there is some shirtless Padalecki ... feh! I'll wait for the DVD.
It rates a big fat zero on the beefake-o-meter, Pax. FAIL.
That said, I did have more fun for periods of the film than I'm letting on. Derek Mears made for a fine, intimidating Jason, although maybe a little too big. Where is Jason getting his steroids in the woods anyway? But I loved the way he moved. So ferocious. And there are some fun deaths - really loved Ryan Hansen's death.
The Aaron Yoo death on the other hand, was another example of what this series is not about - it is not about a long brutal and slow stabbing. The one interesting, nice character is killed in the nastiest, most unpleasant way... and again, there are times when I want a horror film to be a sadistic mean thing. Friday the 13th films are not those times. They're about fun. The tone was just off.
I have to say that watching it, I did enjoy most of it (up until they were down to the last two characters anyways). But thinking back on it, I realize what a piece of crap it is. Just wrong on so many levels.
Like I said before, your “Boys of FRIDAY” entry was pure awesomeness. And, in a way, you read my mind. I wanted to get your opinion on a rather, uh, “interesting” aspect of FRIDAY THE 13TH; male nudity.
Yes, surely you’ve noticed that while the series is loaded with boobs, lady buns and the occasional bush shot… only 4 of the seri es’ 12 films have given straight gals and gay guys some eye-candy beyond a buff chest. Parts 1, 4 and 11 offered decent but fleeting butt shots—the former deserving credit for squeezing Mr. Bacon’s ass into a brief but extreme close-up. But in terms of true male nudity, only Part 11 (aka “Jason Goes to Hell”), arguably the weakest entry in the series- mostly due to that insidious “body snatcher-esque” plot- gives the male form its due; hottie Michael Silver shows off his butt and a brief frontal in a steamy, genuinely graphic sex scene.
So, while sitting through this latest FRIDAY installment, I found myself rather disappointed to see, yet again, not a single male booty, obscured frontal or even prolonged chest shot. But of course there was ta-tas galore. Sigh. At this point, I don’t even think having Jane Campion direct a FRIDAY film would even out the score.
And another thing (sorry, I don’t mean to rip on Jason. I actually do love these movies) But would it kill the filmmakers to include a gay or lesbian character? I know these movies are directed at demographics and bla-bla-bla. But I found it funny how in literally 30 seconds, the filmmakers of the latest FRIDAY covered three minorities;
Consider the gas station scene; an Asian guy (check) hops out the back of the car, while a black guy (check) walks around to join him by the pump. Less than 10 seconds later, a white guy says to his buddy-albeit jokingl y- “I give a wicked blowjob”. The other responds “We’ll have to try that out later”. (gays- check)— though it looks like we haven’t come far enough to actually include an ALL OUT gay in a “Friday” film.
As for the overall film, I share in your dissapointment… although it was defiantly redeemed by that sleeping bag kill. ☺
All right. Back to the art house.
The sleeping bag kill was bad ass indeed, Ryan. I actually liked that entire semi-opening sequence the best out of the whole film; it felt most like a Friday the 13th movie. Kids camping, having sex and sinning, getting slaughtered, the end. It was the hour or so after that that lost me.
Isn't the whole point of horror to take an unscary situation and MAKE it scary? Find those one or two unsettling things about it-and everything has a few-and magnify them?
And what exactly is so scary about a weekend in a secluded cabin that also doesn't apply to a secluded summer camp?
Gah. Too many questions. At least it was nice to see Dick Casablancas again. And the movie was much better than Rob Zombie's Halloween. Not that that's a huge achievement or anything.
Rob Zombie's version would have at least been interesting. Instead of a camp, it would have been set in a strip joint on the lake where Mrs. Voorhees worked as a pole dancer. And, of course, Ken Foree would have put in a cameo as Crazy Ralph.
I am the only crazy who seemed to love this F13. I thought it was fun, scary, and silly.
It made up for teh lametude that was My Bloody Valentine.
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