Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thursday's Ways Not To Die


Editor's Note: I was having some trouble with this DVD skipping, hence the slightly erratic nature of these screen-grabs; there are a lot of in-between moments missing - fingers squirming across the floor like worms! - that would piece together the logic of this scene a little more coherently than above, but I couldn't get the damned DVD to stay still to grab them. I think most of the money-shots are here though - Jon Stewart's alien-goo-regurgitation and that oozing-eyeball (it's sort of reminiscent of The Stuff, ain't it?)... not to mention Josh Hartnett all wet and assuming the position... s'all good.

Anyway, with the election season at full-tilt-boogie these days I've been watching a lot of The Daily Show, and sometimes mid-joke I'll just remember this scene and oh how I do chuckle. Mr. Serious-Pants with his big-boy opinions - I know you better! I think there are probably some Republican-minded individuals who have some of these shots as their screen-savers actually.
(suggested by Joe)

Previous Ways Not To Die: Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away -- Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door -- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue -- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head


Joe Reid said...

Love. One of my all-time favorite screen deaths in a truly fun and underrated movie. (The plot hinges of freaky closed-up alien nostrils!) And I think Josh Hartnett has never been hotter than when he's yanking that make-shift machete off of that paper cutter. Thank you for taking the suggestion.

scroggins said...

Am I off the mark when I read slight resentment towards Jon Stewart in your post? "Big-boy opinions?" I know you're kidding, but I still detect buried resentment.

Jason Adams said...

No no no, kidding, just kidding. I love Jon Stewart. All in good jest.