Thursday, October 09, 2008

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Y'all do yourselves a favor and click on that third to last picture, okay? Here, let me just show you what I'm talking about -- Sam Jackson has just been chomped on by one of the genetically-monsterized shark-beasts, and it's dragging him back under the water to nosh, and this is the look on CG'd Sam's face:

I wish I could make that a thousand times bigger and clearer, but I think you can tell even here that he is SMILING and SHRUGGING HIS SHOULDERS, tossing his hands to the side, as if to say, "Whoopsie! Gotta die now! See you bitches later!" I want to print this image on T-shirts and perhaps tattoo it on my forehead. LOVE.

This moment in the film happens so fast that I never would've noticed this if I'd not watched it in slow-motion for this post, and for that, this series has repaid my time in spades.

You can watch the scene in motion over here. It really is a modern day classic. More love for Deep Blue Sea to come later today too, so stay tuned!

Previous Ways Not To Die: A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away -- Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door -- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue -- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head


Anonymous said...

I just laughed SO hard at that!! Do you think that was intentional? Man... that cracked me up... my co-workers even asked what was so funny. I made a scene. Good find, JA!!

Sam J. Miller said...

i've always been a little ashamed at how much i love this movie. it's so fucking stupid! how can a fucking shark TURN ON AN OVEN? i don't care how intelligent it is. fucking ridiculous. yet also amazing.

scroggins said...

Welcome back.

Sam Jackson is indeed more badass than any one man should be. A surplus of badassery - we could feed and clothe the poor of the world, which it would provide for many times over, not one human being excluded, not one, with Sam Jackson's badassery.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's awesome. It's actually making me consider renting this out just to take a screencap of it. Seriously, thanks.