Friday, October 17, 2008

7 off My Head - Horror Hunks

Earlier this week Cinematical posted a list of The 7 Hottest Chicks Of Horror which, well I don't swing that way obviously but the list seemed a little stale. I mean, Elisha freaking Cuthbert? For real? Even I know that there's a long and storied history of lovely lady exploitation going way way back in horror movies, and even though I love them both, Neve Campbell and Christina Ricci do not beat out somebody like Linnea Quigley. The few comments this list has gotten seem to indicate a general consensus of suck.

But now that I've turned the table on myself and cast myself in the role of coming up with the Seven Hottest Hunks In Horror... well this shit is tough. In general there's just less male exploitation to choose from, and the ones that are out there I've mostly already given plenty of love to in the past. Still, here goes. These are literally the first seven I thought of; I can even now think of a dozen more. I would love it if y'all sounded off in the comments with your picks!

John Gavin, Psycho

Christian Bale, American Psycho (The Gold Standard)

Bruce Campbell, the Evil Dead movies

Ryan Reynolds, Amityville Horror

. .
Nick Corri, A Nightmare on Elm Street - Some kind soul put his scenes onto YouTube! He just beats out Johnny Depp in his half-shirt in the same flick... Corri's tighty-whities forever!

Ryan Phillippe,
I Know What You Did Last Summer

Tom McBride, Friday the 13th: Part 2 - Out of all the slashers, the Friday series was the most generous with the cute boys - all that premarital nookie! - so there were several I could've picked for this spot in honor of the franchise's stellar record of equal-opportunity exploitation (the dude killed in the shower in Part 4; the hand-walking queer in Part 3). But McBride's wheelchair-bound Mark is a personal fave, and McBride himself had a sad story post-Friday which Billy Loves Stu documented here.


Anonymous said...

Jeff Goldblum, The Fly

And he was actually able to perform parts of the gymnastics routine. Awesome. As well as other scenes in the flick.

Jason Adams said...

Great choice, jay. Goldblum was a prime piece of (slowly-disintegrating) meat in that movie.

Rick Schoen said...

Andrew Levitas, Provoloney in Psycho Beach Party, or Chaz in Hellbent.

Anonymous said...

Having recently watched the Fly, I was even able to ignore the big hair. Somehow, it must have fit.

John said...

Psycho Beach Party was good with all of the tongue n cheek inuendo with the hot guys (2 even made out). I really liked Amityville Horror because Ryan Reynolds was bearded and buff, he's sexy that way...I know why you can preview these comments before posting, sometimes I can't spell right.

Glenn Dunks said...

Yes, some very good choices there (that Cinematical link was shiiiithouse!) although I'd perhaps throw in Mike Vogel in fullon Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake mode (bitch is HOT) and does George Clooney in From Dusk til Dawn count? He was at his peak then, no?

Prospero said...

Excellent choices. Ryan gets me going every time.

Jason Adams said...

Vogel was a serious runner-up, kc. Clooney was hot in Dusk, too.

Which Ryan, prospero? I agree either way. Obviously.

John said...

hey Prospero, I thought NOBODY else would mention how hot he is. I thought I was being so shallow...thanks.