Monday, September 22, 2008

The Midnight Meat Train In 150 Words Or Less

This is the sort of movie that ought to be summed up by its IMDb keywords. Yet the actual ones don't really capture what needs to be captured. So here's my go of it:

Serial Killer --- Subway --- Unsexy Sodomy On A Diner Counter --- Cleavage --- Cleavers --- Cannibalism --- Owl-headed Supermodels --- Bradley Cooper's Blue Eyes, Furry Chest And Total Absence Of Discernible Character --- Wart Removal --- Wait... Are Those Warts? --- What The Fuck Are Those Things? --- Eww, Jars Of Them, Whatever They Are, Barf --- Jars Upon Jars, Seriously, Stop It, No More --- Do Not Touch The Jars Of Wart Things, Stupid Woman --- You Deserve Whatever Comes To You Then, Jar-Touching Freak --- Funny Dismemberment --- Ted Raimi's Dislodged Eyeballs --- Forrest Gump Humor --- Vinnie Jones Is Fucking Awesome

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