"The Internet is so new to me. I didn't realize you could just go on and lie about people. I can get on a computer right now and write "Michelle Obama said to me she hates Jews." Somebody called me the other day: "Oh, there's that thing on Gawker that you try to pick guys up during your readings." I've never done that. Ever, ever, ever. I will have gifts for teenage girls when I go on tour because I'm always honored when they come and it's fun to make a big deal out of a teenager. I take the shampoo and conditioners from my room, and yesterday I went to the museum and got a bunch of cheap bracelets. I'll often talk about how pretty she is, like, "It must be so good to be you, and you're what guys in prison dream about.""
I love him. My best friend and I talked to him at a signing a couple of years ago and he complimented my friend on her pants and recommended some books by other authors to us. He said something like "I have enough money, go read these books." One of the nicest people (famous or not) that I've ever met.
Oh, man. I love Sedaris so much and I have tickets to see him in September. Yay!
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