Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

The best thing about this moment - besides the fact that IT'S A GIANT BALL OF CRITTERS, of course - is something I can't replicate here: the sound-effect of the Critter-Ball rolling over this poor nameless chap is so wonderfully silly. Imagine what you'd hear if you were pulling Velcro off the face of a colicky baby and you might know how I mean. Shhhhrrrripwahhhherrrnyahnyahnyah.

Previous Ways Not To Die: Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head


FDot said...

Ah, my favorite of the trinity of tiny 80's killers: Critters, Ghoulies and Munchies.

Anonymous said...

Jason, you're awesome.

Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

I want to be a critter