Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Greatest Movie...

... in which Brooke Shields' first Communion ceremony is interrupted when she's strangled with a candlestick, stuffed under a church bench and then set on fire?


Was I hallucinating that she was strangled with a candlestick? I should go back and watch it again to make sure but I swear it was a candlestick, and all I kept thinking was how strong a candlestick it was, and how candlesticks are always crumbling whenever I touch them, but then I'm manly like a manly man and... you know, instead of thinking "I'm watching a little girl be strangled and set on fire."

ASA
was creepier than I anticipated, though, and it's all thanks to that gosh-darned killer's outfit.


Shivers!

Also creepy? This dude:


Sweet Jeebus, I didn't need to see that... that stain... this movie definitely receives a penalty for Gratuitous Use of Crotch Staining to Transmit Character Flaws. Eww; and unnecessary.

I had no idea though, until I read Final Girl's review of the film today after just watching the film last night, that little Karen was played by Brooke Shields. Just shows to go ya how alert I am. Where am I? How did I get this... this stain...?

Shriek.
.

2 comments:

Stacie Ponder said...

Undoubtedly one of the creepiest-looking killers ever committed to celluloid. I love that mask.

The movie is...I don't know. It's just kind of wrong somehow, isn't it? From sort of graphically killing a kid to...to...that guy, who is beyond gross, it's a weird, weird movie. Which is why I like it!

Jason Adams said...

Stacie, (I ought to leave this on your review, but bah, lazy), one thing I disagree with you on about the film - I wasn't any less creeped out once I knew that the killer (um, spoiler, for anyone who hasn't seen the film) was the old lady. Old ladies scare me. And old ladies who are religious hysterics screaming "Sinner!" while rolling a bound-up man whose face they'd just smashed in with a brick out of a window scare me even more.

You're right that the movie just feels wrong on some level. I didn't know a lot going into it and wasn't expecting the level of blasphemy about to come my way - mind you, I'm an atheist, so I have no problems with blasphemy, but it still was just sort of unexpected - plus the brutal kid-killing, and it just kept going where I didn't think it would - the woman's mask came off, yet she still kills our hero, the father, and then she kills the freaking priest too! That priest-stabbing, even though I really had a feeling it was gonna go there, was edited really nicely - just wham sudden knife in the neck. Brutal is the word I keep coming back to, and it wasn't even especially graphic. Although saying that makes me think of that shot of the knife blade sinking into the top of the Aunt's foot, which eww.

A really effective, bizarre movie. Much fun!