The Greatest Movie Ever

So there's this interview at AICN with the director John Poll, who's responsible for the finally-being-released-this-weekend film Charlie Bartlett. Yeah... so normally I'd have no interest in this interview. But the title of the post is "Quint talks to director Jon Poll about CHARLIE BARTLETT, Anton Yelchin, Robert Downey Jr. and Anna Faris masturbating!"... and well, if you know anything about me, you know that any mention of Anna Faris is my catnip. The whole her "masturbating" thing isn't exactly, uh, my cup of tea when it comes to her, but it piqued my curiosity.

Anyway, that part of the interview is about Poll's next flick, called Something Borrowed, which he's trying to get Anna Faris cast in. It's a wedding-centered body-swap movie, in which the guy and girl about to get married switch bodies, and, well... Anna Faris playing a guy trapped in a girl's body! I know it's a schtick that's been done to death, but... but... Anna Faris! She really overwhelms any critical thought I could ever have.

Sparing you all the Charlie Bartlett talk, here's the portion of that interview in which Poll discusses Anna Faris and this Something Borrowed movie, and... I want to see this so bad right this very second. Be forewarned that he discusses specific scenes and jokes within the film, which I guess could be considered spoilers, if hearing jokes beforehand are now considered spoilers. The genius of these will all be in the delivery, though - Anna Faris's amazing delivery!

Jon Poll: [Anna Faris] is adorable! You know what? I love women that are funny and like that’s what I love about Hope, and women who are unafraid to fall in the mud and this is a real “fall in the mud” movie.

So okay… so it’s called SOMETHING BORROWED and as much as I hate wedding movies, it is a wedding movie, so okay you’ve got two twenty something people, a guy and a girl… She plays kind of an uptight conservative doctor and the guy, who has yet to have been determined, is a happy go lucky high school basketball couch. He doesn’t have a lot of ambition, he just enjoys life. You would never expect the two of these people to get together.

They meet and fall in love at first site. They rush head long into marriage and a week before they get married, she has to get the approval of her maternal grandmother, who happens to be from New Orleans and happens to have a little Voodoo in the family… So she goes *POOF* puts a curse on them and *BANG* they’re in each other’s bodies and like CHARLIE, there’s a lot of humor and there’s some heart… there’s more humor. It’s a much broader comedy, a real R rated sex comedy. There’s also, I hope, something on it’s mind where we get to play with male and female roles, so just imagine there’s a lot of “Ahhhh” and they freak out and they realize they can’t tell anybody. It’s like FREAKY FRIDAY and we’ve seen that cliché before, but it works.

So imagine this guy the next day and he’s calmed down and he’s alone in his apartment and we all know what guys do when they’re alone, right? Imagine being there in Anna Faris’ body, OK, let’s get down to it, so he’s trying to masturbate and really really hard and he just goes “Oh, this is so much more complicated than for a guy!” I just laughed so hard and then the big scene that it culminates in and there’s more real stuff on the way, but this is the fun stuff to talk about, so it’s like a day or two before their wedding and it’s all just a little odd and weird and creepy, but they’re kissing and they’re going “Well, we’re starting to get turned on.” One thing leads to another and they’re getting really excited and then the guy just goes “OK, hold on, I’ve got to lay down some ground rules. There’s no way I’m sucking my own cock!”

When I read that line, I was like, “Oh man, if I get to make this movie, this is perfect!” Any movie where a guy gets to say that line…I’m going to get these two actors and have them watch each other and learn about each other and yeah the bulk of the movie, the whole first act they get to be themselves, but most of the movie she’s in a guy’s body and he’s in a girl’s body and it should be a challenge, but hopefully it will be pretty funny. I have my fingers crossed."

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