... or at least take personal days when I know Jake's in town. These spy sightings drive me insane with jealousy. Especially the two-fer of Jake and Austin! From Ted at E! (hence the garbled vocab):
Good grief that's an annoying ramble, isn't it? Not just because I wish it were myself who'd seen them, but because that's a lot of reading into some distant body language.
Still, West 12th Street is literally a three-minute walk from where I'm sitting right now, and it's like there are invisible threads yanking my guts towards the door.
.
“They could have walked to the ferry, and I still would have followed them,” admits our pavement detective, so refreshingly honest (see, always loved those NY types, this is only one reason why). “All the while, they kept walking close to each other, like they were purposely trying to bump into each other, ya know what I mean?”
We do, you baddie bro, we do! So, do continue:
“At one point they had their heads briefly touching each other,” D.S. practically breathlessly relayed. “A short time after that came the friend's arm around Jake and the whisper to the ear. Then, the whole block before they got to West 12th Street," said the onlooker, J.G. & A.N. did a little digital dance. "Oh so cute!”
Deliciously so! But wait. We simply have to get ahold of ourselves here. See, before you nasty naughties out there start cackling, like, totally inappropriate things here, can’t two guys show affection for each other (just like women do) without people going to all sorts of kooky conclusions? Not to mention their publicists' speed dials…
I mean, John Travolta does it all the time! What’s the biggie?
Denim Addendum: “Both had on blue jeans wrapped around perfect butts,” added our boyish spy, above, for the really important deets. Jake’s dude-pal/whatever “probably had the better butt,” sassed our unsubtle source. “It was slightly rounder, and his jeans fit a bit more snuggly.”
Sorry, Jakey, I know how it feels. I’m still smarting from the time Defamer blabbed I have no behind. So not true! I took a pic and showed the hateful folks how wrong they were, will you please now do the same for us? We’re waiting...high-quality pics preferred!"
Good grief that's an annoying ramble, isn't it? Not just because I wish it were myself who'd seen them, but because that's a lot of reading into some distant body language.
Still, West 12th Street is literally a three-minute walk from where I'm sitting right now, and it's like there are invisible threads yanking my guts towards the door.
.
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4 comments:
I never know whether to laugh or grouse at these kinds of breathless OMG-fests. I think I'm falling down on the side of laughing at it. "Like they were trying to bump into each other..." Jesus. "At one point, A.N. put a stick of gum into his mouth, but he really looked like he was considering putting J.G.'s tongue in there instead. Almost!"
On the other hand, I totally believe Austin Nichols would have the better butt. I saw that show about surfing.
I've been trying to figure out TC's motives for the past day or so, just, you know, as part of my general Jake obsession, and really the only thing that makes sense besides his desire for attention is that he himself lusts after Jake but for whatever reason doesn't admit it. At least, I never heard of him admitting it, and I refuse to read his fucking blog to find out. What is this modern obsession with outing people who don't appear to want to be outed? For the record, I believe Jake is straight, but it's beside the point.
And Joe, I watched all of John from Cincinnati myself. Austin's ass is definitely not bad, but haven't you seen Jarhead?
My desire for Jake to be, in fact, a homosexual, usually far outweighs any logic or reason involved, because then, if he were, in fact, a homosexual, he and I would obviously get gay-married and adopt Cambodian refugees and live forever in a palace under the stars. So I refuse to jinx this vision by saying he is, in fact, NOT a homosexual. However... yeah, that however can speak for itself, like I said, I ain't saying it!!!
Ted just gets all sorts of attention whenever he plays the gay-enhaal card; that's why he does it.
you'll probably enjoy this, and as a side note i think this is the cutest jake has ever looked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxlS-R0m2ug
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