MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED

.

I was going to say it just "fucking" exploded, but putting curse words in a post's title is so vulgar. But it did. It fucking exploded. Ka. Boom. I'd be wiping bits of brain tissue out of my keyboard for weeks if, ya know, I weren't completely dead from my head having just fucking exploded.

Oh right, my point! The delightful Michael Aussiello at TV Guide - who seems to share a lot of loves with me - has apparently decided that Kristen Bell needs to join the cast of Lost. See, that's all it took for my brain to go boom; just the mere suggestion is enough. But see, from what I can tell this all is mostly speculation for now; Aussiello got his hands on the casting bits for a couple new characters for Lost's next season, and one of them sounds an awful damned lot like Veronica/Kristen Bell. The character's description:

"Also recurring is Charlotte, a hot twentysomething who is said to be "precocious, loquacious and funny... a very successful academic who also knows how to handle herself in the real world." Interestingly, she, too, has a tough time relating to people. Beneath the surface, there's "lots of repressed and pent-up emotions."

Um... does she have a dog named Back-Up? Cuz seriously. Anyway, in the comments to the post in which Aussiello offered this casting nugget, everybody clamors for Kristen Bell being perfect for the role, as they should be. But Aussiello followed all this speculation up in his Q&A yesterday, in the following exchange:

"Question: Have you spoken to Darlton about having Kristen Bell on Lost? If you pull this off, I swear (and you have this in writing, with AA witnesses) that I will send you one case of Diet Raspberry Snapple for every episode of Lost that Kristen appears on. Hope you're up for the challenge!— Erin

Ausiello: You better get busy clipping them there Snapple coupons, Erin. And while you're at it, slap on a pair of Depends, 'cause this is the kind of exclusive casting prattle that causes mass piddling: I can tell you for a fact that Kristen's name has been brought up with regard to the new role of Charlotte, the hot twentysomething who is said to be "precocious, loquacious and funny... a very successful academic who also knows how to handle herself in the real world." Yep, sounds like our Kristen! The only question now is whether my in-demand BFF is ready to jump back into another series. And, if so, will the financial toll wrought by all those Snapple purchases force Erin to declare bankruptcy? Please, God, let the answer be "Yes!" to all of the above!"

(and this is where I can't type anymore because motor-functions fail me)... BLURGH!!!
.