Friday, May 18, 2007

Call The Coven! We Have An Emergency!

They're going to remake Dario Argento's classic 1977 film Suspiria! Make it stop, make it stop! From DH:

"First Sun has acquired the rights to remake Dario Argento's classic 1977 horror movie "Suspiria" an plan to remake it as an English-language film.

"'Suspiria' has a unique style that we want to reinvent for today's generation. We intend to create a concept that will encompass cinema, videogames, fashion and music and that revives the original for those who did not experience it. The Gothic resurgence is very strong around the world at the moment ... and we feel that a new version of 'Suspiria' will fit very well" said 'Sun' co-founder and director Luca Guadagnino ("Melissa P.") at a press conference in Cannes yesterday.

Guadagnino added that he is seeking an international director not necessarily associated with the horror genre. First Sun is also in talks with writer Scott Heim ("Mysterious Skin") and David Gordon Green to adapt, and production is slated to begin next year.

The original refurbished Italian-language version of the film is set to screen today at Cannes in honor of the 30th anniversary of its release."

So sure, I love David Gordon Green and Scott Heim's Mysterious Skin is a wonderful book (and was turned into a first-rate film), but just... why? Why? Why??? I don't understand! Suspiria is such a product of a specific time and type of filmmaking.

And it's in English! Granted it's dubbed, in that delightfully cheesy way all these Giallo films were back then, and the news at the end of the article there that a refurbished Italian-language version will be released for its 30th Anniversary is a toe-curler, but the only way I've ever seen and enjoyed it was in its dubbed version and... just... why? I can't spit out anything but that one word. Why. Why. Why? I'm confounded. And that Luca Guadanino person's nonsensical rambling only made it worse. Hands off!
.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

"'Suspiria' has a unique style that we want to reinvent for today's generation. We intend to create a concept that will encompass cinema, videogames, fashion and music...."

nope

Jason Adams said...

Isn't that just the dumbest sentence ever? WTF?

Anonymous said...

It's almost worse that an the environmental causes mumbo jumbo they were spouting about the 'Birds' remake

Jason Adams said...

Yeah, almost, but NOTHING could ever top that Birds bullshit. Gah! Too many ugly thoughts in my brain this morning! I need a thought-colonic.

Anonymous said...

This is horrible news. They are going to destroy every good element of this film. The cinematography is amazing. Those who don't know about this film shouldn't know about this film ever.

Jason Adams said...

Suspiria really is such a beautiful film. It's the first Giallo I ever saw and it really remains my favorite today after having seen a bunch more. Couldn't agree more with this sentiment:

"Those who don't know about this film shouldn't know about this film ever."

It's not a product to be distributed to the masses.

Anonymous said...

Fuck.
Now I'm gonna have to shove a shard of glass into my eyes so there's NO chance of me seeing this remake, even accidentally. Extreme times call for extreme measures.
Thank you for the warning.

Anonymous said...

NO!

one of the reasons that suspiria is so awesome is because of the originality of it as an extremley stylized giallo film. honestly, the plot was mediocre and the script was borderline silly, but it was the gripping aesthetic that makes it a great film. and that aesthetic can never be duplicated, let alone topped. if they remake it, they're going to try to jazz up the visuals with new age special effects and totally abandon the reason for suspiria being a cult favorite.

i really hate these people who are raping the classics. really.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but since there is no stopping the remake machine (sigh) , how about giving Kevin Smith a chance at the script? Thoughts? Discuss...

PeterNeal said...

What is the point, really? Part of what made Suspiria so unique and memorable was the film styling and technique...something they can NEVER recreate now (CGI just cannot compare with Technicolor). And it will probably have a terrible goth faggot soundtrack. A sad comment on the times when cinema art is aimed at video game punks. Perhaps the people at Sun need a little black glove and razor treatment.