Best Of '06! Golden Globes Noms! It's A Blow-Out!

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I know, here amongst my movie-minded blog-brethren, this may be a bit of an anomoly, but... I just don't care about these awards things this year.

Last year I cared, because I had a horse in the running, but this year... well, none of the movies I've loved seem to have much critical traction.

There are three films left to this year that I want to see - Curse of the Golden Flower, Children of Men, and Perfume (in case you're just getting to know me, here's a secret: I have zero interest in ever seeing Dreamgirls; Beyonce saps my will to live with her dead Barbie-eyes) - and none of those three films I've yet to see are getting much, if any, recognition, so if they do end up being favorites of mine I don't forsee them dragging me into the Awards hoopla either.

But let's look at, as of now, where my Favorite Films of 2006 stand, shall we? Me and lists have a sordid history, but I'm working this one out. I don't forsee it changing before the end of the year. Drum-roll, please!

THE 5 BEST MOVIES OF 2006, SAYETH I

1- Pan's Labyrinth (my "review")
2 - The Fountain (my "review")
3 - Shortbus
4 - Bubble (my "review")
5 - Marie Antoinette

I'm stopping at five because I am definitive about those five, and in that order. After that, I get a bit scattered - numero six would probably be The Departed, though - ETA I feel the fool, especially after harrassing Glenn about the movie just yesterday, but my number 6, most certainly, is The Descent (twas released here in '06 so it counts). Tied with Marie Antoinette it is, in fact, for number 5.

Anyway, if ya can't tell, none of those movies are really gaining much momentum Awards-wise. Pan's Labyrinth will get the Foreign Language noinations, but probably lose to Volver because everyone wants to ejaculate all over Pedro Almodóvar for whatever he gives us (I enjoyed Volver too, though, it's probably in my Top 10).

Now don't get me wrong - I'll still watch all the awards shows, they're like crack (or so I hear), and I'll still pay attention to the horse races, who's in the running, so forth; but I write this because I'm hardly fired up about them this year and you're not gonna hear much from me on them, probably.

Except today. (Oh and probably whenever the Oscar nominations are announced.) I'm gonna give you my choices from each category of today's Golden Globe nominations, and why, and then be done with it. (For now.)

Best Motion Picture, Drama

Nominated : Babel; Bobby; The Departed; Little Children; The Queen

My choice: The Departed - Yes, it's not as good as Vintage Marty; it's no Goodfellas. But it's still a damn fine film and the best Marty's done in a dozen years (since The Age of Innocence, if you're wondering).

Best Actress, Drama

Nominated: Penelope Cruz, Volver; Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal; Maggie Gyllenhaal, Sherrybaby; Helen Mirren, The Queen; Kate Winslet, Little Children

My choice: I'm an asshole, but as much as I love Kate and thought she was damned fine in Little Children, I don't want her winning for this mediocre movie. I still haven't seen Sherrybaby, so I can't say if my fake-boyfriend's sister deserves it. Cruz was good, Mirren was good, but Judi Dench wins for me. A confused, and confusing, movie, but it's the best performance I've ever seen Dench give, and it's a character for the history books. She's classic. Great.

Best Actor, Drama

I'm not gonna even bother, I've only seen one of these performances - Leo in The Departed - and while it's the best I've ever seen from him and I really loved his performance, it's not really fair for me to choose only having seen one... screw it! Leo wins!

Best Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical

Nominated: Borat, The Devil Wears Prada, Dreamgirls, Little Miss Sunshine, Thank You For Smoking

My choice: Borat, I guess. Prada was fun but fluff. Little Miss Sunshine is Abby Breslin's movie; when she's not onscreen it's a bit of a mess. Thank You For Smoking was mediocrity incarnate. And no no no no way, am I seeing Dreamgirls. I laughed my fool-ass off at Borat, even if I did feel a little dirty about it the next day.

Best Actress, Comedy/Musical

Nominated: Annette Bening, Running With Scissors; Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine; Beyonce Knowles, Dreamgirls; Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada; Renee Zellweger, Miss Potter

My Choice: Well I've only seen two - Collette and Streep - and of the other three I only mildly want to see Scissors, and will scratch my eyes out if Beyonce wins anything. But Streep wins for me, because Miranda Priestly is a blast, and as much as I love me some Toni she had nothing to work with in Sunshine.

Best Actor, Comedy/Musical

Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat; Johnny Depp, Pirates 2; Aaron Eckhart, Thank You For Smoking; Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kinky Boots; Will Ferrell, Stranger Than Fiction

My Choice: Haven't seen Ejiofor or Ferrell's movies, but of the other three it's Cohen's win. Eckhart was the only part of Smoking that was any good, but not great, and Depp... come on. Fun movie, but sheesh.

Best Animated Film

Nominated: Cars, Happy Feet, Monster House

My Choice: Cars. Haven't seen Happy Feet, and I really expected to like Monster House more than I ended up liking it in the end. Cars is no Finding Nemo or The Incredibles, but it's a solid flick that's often breathtaking to look at.

Best Foreign Language Film

Nominated: Apocolypto, Letters From Iwo Jima, The Lives of Others, Pan's Labyrinth, Volver

My choice: Only seen Pan's and Volver, but I can tell you right now no other film has been released this year, anywhere, that will rival my love for Pan's. This is the one category I care about! Go Guillermo!

Best Supporting Actress

Nominated: Adriana Barraza, Babel; Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal; Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada; Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls; Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

My Choice: You may remember, I really loathed Babel. But, to be fair, Barraza was incredible. She summed up the movie for me - she gave an incredible performance that that asshole director manipulated with his asshole direction and asshole story that angered me deep into my bowels. So, in a fair world, she'd win this, but I refuse to pick anything to do with that movie, so sorry, but no. Emily Blunt it is!

Best Supporting Actor

Nominated: Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland; Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls; Jack Nicholson, The Departed; Brad Pitt, Babel; Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

My choice: Only seen the latter three, so Jack wins. I was charmed by his dildo'd shenanigans.

Best Director

Nominated: Clint Eastwood, Flags of our Fathers; Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima; Stephen Frears, The Queen; Alejandro González Iñárritu, Babel; Martin Scorsese, The Departed

My choice: Are they serious? Good grief. I mean, sure, Scorsese, but what the hell is the rest of this nonsense?

Best Screenplay

Nominated: Babel; Little Children; Notes on a Scandal; The Departed, The Queen

My choice: I'd pick The Queen if they hadn't felt the need to include that stupid "The Queen identifies with the mysterious buck" plotline. Ugh. Both Little Children and Notes get their main problems from their scripts (and direction) and I'm not even gonna say a word about Babel (well maybe just one - BARF). So The Departed wins!

Best Original Score

Nominated: The Painted Veil, The Fountain; Babel; Nomad; The Da Vinci Code

My choice: Ooh there is another category I care about! Clint Mansell's score for The Fountain is a dream. I haven't stopped listening to it since seeing the film a good month ago.

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After that it's TV stuff; the only two I care about are: 24 beats Lost for Best Drama for last season's phenomonal Evil President storyline, and Bleak House wins for Best Miniseries (Gillian!).

And that's it! I'm done with this year. Til the Oscar nominations, I guess, but it'll just be more of the same that I don't really give a fig about. A fig! I don't give one!

Oh do stay tuned, though - I'll be turning in my favorite music choices of the year very soon, too!
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