Wasn't His Name Leaf?

.....

This bitch is crazy. He and his horrific harelip freak me the fuck out. And his DEATH-DEFYING CAR ACCIDENT yesterday is the most pathetically desperate bid for Oscar gold I've ever seen. Maybe he was swerving out of the way of the frog that's always chasing him on red carpets.

I hate you, Joaquin/Leaf Phoenix. Your slumped shoulders and effed-up face give me a major case of heebie jeebies.