Friday, May 29, 2020

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

Poor Romain Duris is losing yesterday's fuzz-off!  And on his birthday, no less! Well I suppose it's a good thing I stumbled upon these images from... well I have no idea what they're from to be honest. But whatever they are maybe they'll make one or twelve of you regret your votes. I have yet to see Jesse Bradford snuggle up on naked boys, and I have been looking.


Thursday, May 28, 2020

10 Off My Head: My Man Vincent

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The main thing I was trying to get done yesterday but just couldn't thanks to the previously declared brain damage was a celebration of the birthday of my favorite actor, personality, and person of all time -- that would be Vincent Price. Every year I hold a celebratory dinner on the anniversary of Vincent's death in October (consisting of dishes cooked from his magnificent cookbook A Treasury of Great Recipes, which I highly recommend every human being own at least one copy of) -- it's perfect timing, right before Halloween, given his career's delectably ghoulish associations. (Here is a picture from last year's!) His birthday on May 27th is a little less opportune, especially since he shares that birthday with The Wicker Man star Christopher Lee...

... and a Spring-time May-Day-ish feast in honor of that film and performance always feels more apt. (Not that I've ever done it... but one day!) Anyway I did nevertheless realize yesterday, amid my woes, that I've never done a list of my favorite Vincent Price films. Which is crazy. And then I realized five minutes later that I've never done one because there are very few Vincent Price movies I haven't adored. How do I possibly choose? Even in stinkers he's always a delight. Sometimes especially in stinkers! Point being I upped this list to 10 but you should consider everything else a runner-up. Everything!

10 of My Favorite Vicnent Price Movies

Matthew Hopkins, The Witchfinder General (1968)
"Men sometimes have strange motives
for the things they do."
The Inventor, Edward Scissorhands (1990)
"May lump sugar be taken with the fingers?"
Dr. Phibes, The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
"Eight have died, soon to be nine!
 Nine eternities in doom!"
Russell Quinton, Leave Her to Heaven (1945)
"I always will be in love with you. Remember that."
Prince Prospero, The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
"Do you know how a falcon is trained, my dear? Her eyes are sewn shut. Blinded temporarily, she suffers the whims of her God patiently, until her will is submerged and she learns to serve - as your God taught and blinded you with crosses."
Shelby Carpenter, Laura (1944)
"I don't know a lot about anything, but
I know a little about practically everything."
Charles Dexter Ward, The Haunted Palace (1963)
"You do not know the extent of my appetite, Simon. I'll not have my fill of revenge until this village is a graveyard. Until they have felt, as I did, the kiss of fire on their soft bare flesh. All of them. Have patience my friends. Surely, after all these years, I'm entitled to a few small amusements."
Dr. Robert Morgan, The Last Man on Earth (1964)
"You're freaks, all of you! 
All of you, freaks, mutations!"
Prof. Henry Jarrod, House of Wax (1953)
"Foul deeds will rise though all the
 earth o'erhelm them, to men's eyes."
Dr. Erasmus Craven, The Raven (1963)
"Shut your beak!"
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What are your favorite Vincent Price films?
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Which is Hotter?

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It's the joint birthday of two of our favorite fuzzy brunettes... and we have a lot, seriously a lot, of favorite fuzzy brunettes. Everybody's got a type! I speak of the French actor Romain Duris (see our previous posts here), who's turning 46, and the American actor Jesse Bradford (see our previous posts here), turning 41. So here's a fuzzy poll in their fuzzy honor...


Matthias Schoenaerts Two Times

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I would very much like to thank Matthias 
for posting these photos on his Insta 
and immediately making my damn day today.
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Drag Me In The Dirt, Garrett Hedlund

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I don't know what is going on with the release of the Aussie romance Dirt Music, starring Kelly Macdonald and Garrett Hedlund (notably neither Aussies!) -- I posted a hot picture from it last June when I first heard about it and it premiered at Toronto in September and then I haven't heard jack since... well until the trailer got dropped yesterday, anyway...

... and I don't know about you but I wanna see those two people kiss! Dirt Music is based on an apparently well-loved novel by writer Tim Winton from 2001 -- Macdonald's character is in a loveless marriage with David Wenham (hey at least he's an Aussie!) when hey oh but who should come a'strolling into her life but this strapping six-foot-one-inches of dirty-blond godliness called Garrett.

Sorry David Wenham but even your Spartan Ass never stood a chance. Anyway the film -- which was directed by Gregor Jordon who made that Ned Kelly movie with Heath Ledger in 2002 -- is coming out in Australia "soon" so they say, but who the hell knows for the rest of us. Here's the trailer, at least:


We'll keep our noses firmly planted in Garrett's sweaty business for any new news on this movie but until then after the jump there are several more sweaty gifs to satisfy...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can leaern from:


Prince Dastan: I know it hasn't been easy between 
us, Garsiv, but still, we are brothers. 
Garsiv: Touching words with my sword at your throat. 

If only this flick had more Jake sword-fighting with Toby Kebbell
content. Alas! A not-so-happy 10th anniversary to it, a terrible
movie, which nevertheless gave us Jake looking like this:
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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As if that photo I posted earlier this week of Jonathan Tucker's gay ol' haircut-palooza tweren't proof enough everybody's going through their own hair-trials and hair-tribulations these days, and the rich and famous, like the magazine said, are just like us. Whether it's Alex Pettyfer's beard or Armie Hammer's mustache or the lack of "poof" that my mother was complaining about on the phone to me just recently, from the neck up we're all a disaster. At least we're in this shaggy business together.

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

More Like Mad Man

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So I went for one of my special escape-quarantine nature-walks this morning (I do this once or twice a week which you'll know if you follow me on Instagram) and I seem to have somehow gotten way, way too much sun, and melted my brains. True, my definition of "too much sun" is usually "any sun at all" but despite my best dodging-it efforts my eyes feel cooked in my skull and I can't much think straight. Point being instead of sitting here and staring blankly at my computer screen for any longer trying to will some entertainment for you all into being, I'm done for the day. Done, done, dunzo. We'll try out this whole "blogging" thing again tomorrow. That said if you already  follow me on Twitter then you're probably also aware I am currently binge-watching Mad Men on Netflix, I have been for the past week or so, and there's a stacked and ongoing Twitter thread, linked below, where you can keep up with my favorite bits. So that's something. I can't promise anything, but I can promise something.
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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Having just watched Gillian Anderson's divine Streetcar Named Desire performance again thanks to National Theater dropping it online for a week I wish I could come up with some "STANLEY!!!!" joke here to go alongside these photos of strapping actor Stanley Weber (via) but honestly that sort of thing would be for an entire audience of me, and even then only half so. I'd love to see Weber do Kowalski though. Uhhh, and now I'm just picturing Weber making out with Marlon Brando. Good morning! My point is good morning. And click here for plenty more Stanley Weber, if you like.


Tuesday, May 26, 2020

A Movie About Cheerleaders

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In this week's edition of "Great Moments in Horror Actressing" at The Film Experience I found myself stuck on one of my faves, Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof and the surprising ball of sunshine that is Rosario Dawson's Abernathy. I love to talk about this movie almost as much as I love to watch it so be prepared for a lot if you click over! Like QT himself I just can't help jabbering on until everybody's left the room. Damn do I love this flick.
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Get Hot Like Jai

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I spent some time looking at this picture trying to figure out what that silver thing is beside Jai's sweaty head there -- is it perhaps a boxing glove? -- but then I realized I enjoyed looking at Jai's sweaty head, then downward from there, more. So whatever! Bless that stache. And downward from there.
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Jackie Brown (1997)

Max Cherry: You're rationalizing. 
Jackie Brown: Well that's what you do to go 
through with the shit you start, you rationalize. 

A very happy 71st birthday to the great Pam Grier,
giver of maybe my favorite Tarantino performance.  
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... working up a sweat with Paul Mescal.

I just want it on the record here that I have been having a real hard and conflicting time with the sort of photos that used to bring me such joy, such as these -- the Normal People star is clearly a big crush of mine after slamming through all the episodes of that phenom new series in a day and a half (see all our posts so far) and these athletic short-shorts were clearly and precisely built in a laboratory for me and me specifically to freak out about... and yet! I am so fucking tense about people wearing masks in public -- yes even while jogging; I jogged with a mask on this morning and so were most of my fellow joggers -- and social distancing that I'm having trouble not having all of these old pleasures ruined for me. It took me a ton of effort not to question that Jonathan Tucker photo this morning. It's a tense time!

Wildlife Is Love

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I triple pup dare you to look at that goddamned gif and not grin -- in other Wonderful Jake Gyllenhaal news today is the day that Criterion is dropping their Wildlife disc! It was supposed to be last week but as we told you got a teensy bit delayed, as went the world. If you're somehow unaware what the hell Wildlife is well really you should just listen to me right now, go buy the disc, wait for it to come to your house, and watch the damn thing. I'll wait. 

Okay it's two weeks later -- you're back? I'll go on. As you have just seen Wildlife is Paul Dano's film starring Carey Mulligan and Jake here as young parents (their son is played by the astonishing newcomer Ed Oxenbould) going through a smash-up -- Oxenbould is great, Jake is great, but it's really Mulligan's show and she turns in maybe her greatest performance to date and with a career and a talent like hers that's saying something. I saw the film a couple of times in theaters and its effect turned out to be cumulative -- the more I watched the film the more hysterically sad I was by its end. That last shot (the one on the poster) is devastating.

(Here is my first review.) Am I biased because I am A Child Of Divorce? Probably! But god this film rings true, profoundly true. The more time passes the more convinced I am I should've ranked it even higher than #9 on my list of favorite 2018 movies -- 2018 was a stupendously good year in retrospect though, wasn't it? We didn't know what we had when we had it, and by "it" I mean "movies." I MISS MOVIES. Sigh. Lemme look at that gif of Jake with a puppy again, I'll be fine.