Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Say What Jake Gyllenhaal

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As promised yesterday, last night I saw Jake Gyllenhaal in the flesh - man, flesh - at a Q&A for his fantastic new movie Nightcrawler at the Museum of Modern Art here in Manhattan. You might've already seen one of these shots on my Instagram; no matter - I took about one hundred and fifty pictures of him as he sat there squirming beneath my laser-beams, a select more which I'll now share.

The first thing my boyfriend said to me when I texted him a picture of my view (I could only get a single ticket for the screening and ditched him with righteous quickness; sorry boyfriend but, well, you know) was to ask if I'd chosen my seat specifically for maximum crotch-watching - he knows me so well.

That's actually not the case - unless a supernatural spidey-sense at detecting future bulge placement is my superpower (which, given my history, could probably be the case) I really didn't know I'd chosen such a fortuitous seat to sit in.

But them's the breaks! The beautiful, beautiful breaks! I know I should probably take this opportunity to tell you about the things Jake said at this Q&A, but... well come on, I couldn't hear a word he was saying! His crotch was staring at me the whole time!!! I did record a minute of video though - here's him saying something or other about his co-star Rene Russo blah blah crotch crotch crotch oh my god so much crotch.
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