Wednesday, April 01, 2009

My 10 Favorite Movie Characters


I got tagged by The Film Experience yesterday to name my 10 Favorite Movie Characters. And... I promptly lost my damn mind. Cue me with a list of like fifty names and my hair falling out. I think I've lost a year of my life from the stress of it! My sperm have all shriveled up. Ack! Okay, I am (slightly) exaggerating. I did get a little spazzy about it but then I'm me and that's to be expected. I took a few deep breaths (and a fistful of pills) and just did it. Nike was right!

I went with my heart over my brain here. I could've attempted to include characters from a slightly broader range of cinema, and I did, but I was fiddling with it so much I just said fuck it and picked the ones I wanted. My rules were more scattershot than Nat's for what I would and wouldn't include... like, I didn't include Kermit or Pee Wee because they're more TV characters in my brain than movie characters (it's where I first got to know them).

Anyway! First off, a full twenty runners-up! In no specific order! Because to really order these would've broken my brain! I just didn't feel right not mentioning these folks at all...

Sara Goldfarb from Requiem For A Dream
and Alex from A Clockwork Orange

Oh Daesu from Oldboy
and Fran Kubelik from The Apartment

Muriel Heslop from Muriel's Wedding
and Indiana Jones and Edward Scissorhands

Nomi Malone from Showgirls
and Hans Beckert from M

BoldMaude from Harold & Maude
and the Rev. Harry Powell from The Night of the Hunter

Margaret White from Carrie
and Jack & Ennis from Brokeback Mountain

Frankenstein and Rosemary

John Merrick from Elephant Man
and Madeleine Elster/Judy Barton from Vertigo

Joan Crawford from Mommie Dearest
and Frank Booth from Blue Velvet

And now... the main event!!!
Also in no specific order. (What am I, Superman?)
And offered with minimal chatter, because I've yapped enough.

Nosferatu - In all his incarnations,
the scariest thing ever put on the screen.

Margie Gunderson, Fargo - Just thinking of her,
my chest fills with warmth. Goodness personified.

Norman Bates - All he needed was a hug!

Ellen Ripley - My pretend mommy.

Dawn Weiner - Oh Dawn. Poor poor Dawn.
We're all Special People.

Carrie White - I had chosen her mother for my final list
at first, instead of her, and then I saw this picture
and my heart broke all over again. Poor Carrie.

Clementine Kruczynski - More me than me.

Ash - The me I wanna be.
(or alternately the him I want to fuck)

Minnie Castavet - Ruth had to be on this list and this one
just beats Maude. But that made Rosemary herself move
into runner-up status. Minnie will not be denied entry, no how!

Gizmo - If you wanna paralyze me,
show me a picture of Gizmo. Insta-mush.


Yeah, my full list had about 30 more characters on it, so y'all feel free to tell me yours but don't yell at me for who placed where or not at all, I'm in a very fragile state emotionally after this all! I need a huge fruity drink and a vacay. Perhaps Hibiscus Island. Let her finish her orgasm first! Oh Muriel should've made it! Ahh!

Ahem. See how it goes? Immediate doubts. Must finish quickly. The end!


Paul Outlaw said...

Cheater! ;-)
Love the list.
Mine here.

Jason Adams said...

I know! I just couldn't NOT say some of those extra names, it would've torn me asunder. I could've cheated worse. And even now I'm thinking of people I should've included in my runners-up list (Shelley Duvall in The Shining FORGIVE ME!)


beautiful beautiful list-orgasm

Carl Joseph Papa said...

tag me tag me!

Jason Adams said...

You're it, Douglas!

Dale said...

Poor JA. I could never do that, even with cheating.

On another note, Carrie and Clementine, yay!

Carl Joseph Papa said...

i will do mine right away!

Tom said...

Thanks to Robert Altman's films, I don't know if I could even narrow it down to 30. But you can bet that Shelley Duvall as Millie Lammoreaux in "3 Women" would be right up there.