The unavailable or ineffective (or downright dangerous) father figure is a horror staple, and three of them stuck out this year for being, how do I put this, let's use Billy Loves Stu's standard characterization - horror movie DILFs. In Paranormal Activity 3 newcomer Christopher Nicholas Smith takes on a little more than he can handle with his girlfriend's brood of spirited youngsters; in Insidious, Patrick Wilson - already mentioned once today - seems to be the sane one in the house, until the past comes to haunt him; and in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark Guy Pearce seems more devoted to maintaining his new house's wainscoting than he is to his little girl's night terrors. So plunk yourself down in the haunted house of your choosing and answer my riddle - which would you spend a single evening making the bed shake with, which would you devote your life and eternal afterlife to, and which would you shove in the dark hole in the basement (not a euphemism) and throw away the key?



do- guy pearce
ReplyDeletedump- that paranormal guy
marry- patrick wilson
Do Patrick Wilson (everyone should do a guy like Patrick Wilson at least once in their life)
ReplyDeleteDump Guy Pearce (a little too weird for me)
Marry Christopher Nicholas (cause I'd enjoying doing him over and over again and I suspect he's not as vain (yet) as these other two hotties)
Do: Guy Pearce
ReplyDeleteDump: Christopher Nicholas
Marry: Patrick Wilson
That last point makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside, even thought it's just pretend. Dream guy.
Do - The paranormal guy
ReplyDeletedump - Patrick Wilson - just not my cuppa. Sorry.
Marry - Guy Pearce
Do Patrick Wilson
ReplyDeleteMarry Paranormal Activity man
Dump Guy Pearce, aw.
Do Christopher Nicholas (twice is possible?)
ReplyDeleteDump Guy Pearce
Marry Patrick Wilson (he's just perfect)