Theo James Speedo Summer Friday

(click to embiggen) While I don't want to jinx this Theo James Speedo Experience we've been enjoying for several weeks now -- see the bulk of it here -- by saying this is the last photo we'll get, it does feel as if this photo is the summation of their efforts and they saved the best for last. Last-ish. Okay Theo could start pulling the speedo down, it's true, but we won't hold our breath. (Unless we have something blocking our windpipe...) Okay! On that utterly filthy note -- I'm only popping in for a second this here Friday because that photo demanded it. Last week was a holiday weekend so maybe it wasn't totally transparent (imagine if that speedo was totally transparent... okay I'm distracted again) -- I'm now on my annual Summer Friday schedule so there won't be any (more) posting today or any other Friday between now and Labor Day. I do have a Pajiba review going up this weekend but other than that -- sayonara til Monday y'all. Savor thee speedo...

Theo James Fourteen Times

The new horror film from Longlegs director Oz Perkins is out Friday -- The Monkey starring Theo James -- and so we've been gifted thanks to Mr Porter magazine with a new Theo photoshoot today, which is always a good thing. (The fact that it's hitting just as a new season of The White Lotus lands is of course making me recall that time Theo was on that show -- also a good thing.)

I keep hoping they'll drop the photoshoot and or commercial for Dolce & Gabbana that we saw Theo shoot last summer in a barely there white speedo and feel like this would be an excellent week for that -- he's got a movie out, it's cold and we want to think about things that make us hot, et cetera. But not yet -- believe me you'll hear from me when they do! I might also have some things about The Monkey to say later this week. But for now we simply stare at Theo, an excellent way to spend one's time, after the jump...

Good Morning, World

Although none of these new photos of Theo James for Dolce & Gabbana rival any of the shots he did in nary a stitch save a wet white speedo for their frangrance brand, he's still Theo James so they're still worth staring at. I could check this but it's before noon and I don't do that -- has anyone heard anything about that George Michael movie Theo here was supposedly going to make? Did he make it already? Is it happening? I haven't heard anything and tbh Theo always seemed a little old for it... although given I know nothing of the project they could be focusing on any part of the singer's life I suppose. And I certainly won't be the one to side-eye the gift of Theo playing gay. If they wanna put him in some pigtails to de-age him, fine by me. Hit the jump for the rest...

Good Morning, World

Dolce & Gabbana gets it -- a year on and they're still releasing more photos of Theo James in his little white speedo for their "fragrance" campaign. I hate summer with the passion of... well, one stubborn piece-of-shit sun. But looking at Theo James in his little white speedo I'm ready for the beach!

 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... co-starring in a new Dolce & Gabbana ad with Theo James.

Some blessed paparazzi have captured our favorite Mr. James being photographed for Dolce & Gabbana in where-else Italy (via) rocking just a white speedo and yes I was complaining about the heat earlier today but the universe granted us this gift in exchange for our suffering, so I can only feel appreciative. If these are the final sights I see before my brain melts, so be it. Hit the jump for a whole collection of images...

Good Morning, World

Hello and happy Monday, my favorite fiends -- I am glad we all made it through another weekend I won't say unscathed, but we survived. Embrace it while it continues, I suppose! At least while we're nominally free and not locked in cages, that is. Wow the optimism is off the charts. But really though. To paraphrase Margate Atwood don't let the bastards grind you down. I'm trying! And so here...

... some more of Theo James in his white  speedo to remind us that there is still light, hope, and beauty in the world. A behind-the-scenes clip was dropped last week and I'm running woefully behind so I'm not giffing up the entire thing like I did last time (at least not right this second) but do watch and give yourself a good morning. You deserve it!

Hatchets, Crocs, And Hot Boys Kissing

Been awhile since I did a post where I directed y'all to some recent blu-ray releases of note and since I have a few listed on my calendar for today why not? Otherwise I'm just scouring social media for more photos of Theo James in his speedo and there's only so much of that one can do without literally exploding. So today in blu-ray news, first up -- there's Alex Garland's Civil War, which was divisive but not really the way that I think Garland intended it to be. I reviewed it at Pajiba, saying "the film gets to it by coasting on a journalist’s ethics of pure objective documentation over anything resembling subjectivity, and this film that basically demanded to be made at this moment in time doesn’t quite earn its laurels by its end." The movie feels like a cop-out to me. But it's worth seeing and thinking about anyway, and the 4K disc is gorgeous -- you can practically count every hair in Wagner Moura's sexy mustache. 

Also out today is a blu-ray of the sleazy 1979 Jaws rip-off Crocodile from Synapse Films -- this movie isn't my favorite 70s "When Animals Attack!" flick -- heck it's not even in the top 10 -- but it's got its moments, and lots of fun Godzilla-esque miniature work as its enormous croc rampages through puppet-sized Thai villages. My favorite thing is how wildly the size of the crocodile itself vaccillates across the course of the movie -- it's the size of a Brontosaurus in those rampages but then when it goes to eat somebody its mouth is one-person sized. It'd probably be a lot of fun when drunk or stoned. Not that I would know! I am a good, pure, innocent boy, and prefer watching endless underwater shots of bottomless women while sober thank you very much.

Speaking of misogynist sleaze, I meant to mention to the fans of the franchise that Adam Green's Hatchet series of films finally got a proper blu-ray boxed-set release a couple of weeks back -- Hatchet: The Complete Collection contains all four movies (including Victor Crowley) and a fifth disc of special features and the only place to buy it is on Dark Sky's website right here. I personally hate these movies but I know they have lots of fans and I will admit that the practical gore effects do totally rule, and they definitely typify the Aughts era of Bro Horror. Not my cuppa but mileages vary! But finally and most importantly...

... Luca Guadagnino's Challengers is out on blu-ray today! Or at least they say it is -- Amazon has delayed sending my copy because of "supply chain issues, and I am very upset about it. But I suppose some of you probably got your copy, to which I say ROT IN HELL. Ahem. No no, enjoy! I mean that sincerely. ENJOY IN HELL, FUCKFACE. Okay this isn't going right. Here is my review of the film -- obviously I loved it, Luca has yet to do me wrong, and I'll be watching it a jabillion times over. Now if only Trent Reznor & Co would drop the score on vinyl already! They're teasing this out like we're all Josh O'Connor watching Mike Faist change in the lockerroom dammit.

Oh and one bit of news on the pre-order front -- this spring's horror hit Late Night With the Devil is dropping on blu-ray here in the U.S. in September, and you can pre-order it right now right here. I liked, not loved, it -- my high expectations have been slaughtering movies left and right this year -- but it's fun and worth a watch or two. I'll definitely re-watch it when it hits with my lowered expectactions and can foresee it becoming one I revisit every so often when the mood strikes. David Dastmalchian of course rules.