Happy International Idris Day

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I was hoping that some new shots of Idris Elba in his upcoming boxing reality show would drop today (slash every day forever and ever) for his 44th birthday and I could share those (see the previously released ones starting here) but since we don't have that we'll go with a couple other things of the Idris sort. First off...

... Tom Hiddleston won some award for The Night Manager over the weekend and he accepted the award from the set of the new Thor and his pals Chris Hemsworth & Mr. Elba were there to giggle like schoolgirls and paw at him a bunch -- you can watch the video right over here. I guess this means Heimdall (Idris' character Idris in the Thor movies) will be showing up! Good!

I bet these three had a good, good time celebrating Idris' birthday this weekend. (Sigh.) Next up this is a couple of weeks old but I missed it -- a few new pictures from Elba's forthcoming Stephen King movie The Dark Tower were released and there's nothing super enthralling but you can check them out over here.

RIP Hugh O'Brian

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Hunk and hometown boy (he was born in Rochester NY) Hugh O'Brian passed away over the long weekend at the tender age of Ninety-fuckin-One -- it feels like we were wishing him a happy 90th with beefcake pictures just yesterday. (Actually strangely it was 3 years ago -- clearly we'd gotten his birth year incorrect before.) 

O'Brian played Wyatt Earp on a 50s TV series and stuffed his big self into cowboy boots and chaps for several other roles over the years - a former Marine and six foot of solid muscle, clearly he looked the part. Or we liked looking at his parts. Whatever. Thanks for the memories, Hugh.

5 Off My Head - Siri Says 1938

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After a few weeks of easy pickins this morning Siri finally threw me a tough one - I asked her to give me a number between 1 and 100 and she came down with 38. So today we will choose from The Movies of 1938. It's not the greatest patch of film-making -- too much Mickey Rooney & Deanna Durbin & cutesiness, man. Everybody was in denial about the War knocking on the door. 

Although none of this stopped the next year, 1939, from being one of the greatest years of the movies ever... I guess without realizing it they were holding their breath for that one? Anyway there are a couple of gems (including two amazing Kate Hepburn & Cary Grant movies, of which I prefer the lesser known) so let's list 'em...

My 5 Favorite Movies of 1938

The Adventures of Robin Hood

(dir. Michael Curtiz)

-- released on May 14th 1938 --

The Lady Vanishes 

(dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

-- released on November 1st 1938 -- 

Bringing Up Baby 

(dir. Howard Hawks)

-- released on February 18th 1938 -- 

Jezebel 

(dir. William Wyler)

-- released on March 26th 1938 --

Holiday

(dir. George Cukor)

-- released on June 14th 1938 --

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Never Seen: Olympia (dir. Leni Riefenstahl)

You Can't Take It With You (dir. Frank Capra)

What are your favorite movies of 1938?

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Aaron Johnson Four Times

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Tom Ford's Nocturnal Animals -- which stars Aaron and Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal, et cetera -- premiered to pretty ecstatic reviews in Venice this week -- to be honest the reviews that did come out I only skimmed them because they were all too plotty and I like not knowing too much about the movie going into it (wonder when we'll get a trailer?)...

... but I did get notes from a couple critic-friends who told me they think it'll definitely be my bag... and also that Aaron Johnson gets naked in it. So maybe you heard it here first! (pics via)

Pic of the Day

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Alexander Skarsgard certainly knows how to pull attention when taking a picture - poor Michael Pena doesn't stand much of a chance if he's gonna go for full on self-molestation. Anyway this is a shot I haven't seen before (click to embiggen it) of the two in War on Everyone, their new film from writer-director John Michael McDonagh (who made the pretty good film Calvary which starred Brendan Gleeson), brother of writer-director Martin McDonagh (who made the very good film In Bruges, which also starred Brendan Gleeson). War on Everyone is set to come out in the UK in October but it doesn't appear to have a US date yet. In case you missed the trailer, and/or in case you like to have yourself a little look at Alex in his underwear, click here.

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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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While I'd like to pretend that my brain's comparing the show Mr. Robot with the show The Night Of because both have had prison story-lines this year (and I watched them both over the long weekend) it's probably more likely (and sadly, irritatingly so)  that it's the fact that both shows are led by bug-eyed brownish-skinned men that is doing it. Is it racist if there just aren't a lot of pickings when it comes to shows led by bug-eyed brownish-skinned men to choose from? (Yes, it's probably still racist.)

Anyway I have had my problems about Mr. Robot since Day 1 and the second season didn't do much to shake them; what surprised me this weekend as I plowed through all of The Night Of was that I also have my doubts about that show too. Now when I say I have my "doubts" about these shows do know I lean towards the positive overall -- they're watchable and I will continue to watch them and they both have things I like very much. Their leads, the bug-eyed brownish-skinned men of whom I just spoke, for example - both great!

But they both have their problems too, and I hope that these shows can face as a critical rethink. Even though I'm posting pictures of Rami Malek here I'd rather speak about what ailed The Night Of, which was everyone's behavior in the prison story -- perhaps it was the point but Riz Ahmed's character fell far too easily into one horrible judgement after another and it didn't feel earned; it felt left-field. By the time his lawyer... well, you know if you've seen the show... well if the point was that the prison system poisons good people I agree, but we needed more breathing room to see that happening. 

Alright it's too early for all of this rambling, let's get to what we're here for, which is to share some gifs from Rami Malek's surprise nudity on this week's Mr. Robot. Remind me when the computer geek got his muscles so in order? Hit the jump for the rest...

Meet The Man Behind Nomi Malone

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The Film Society of Lincoln Center is gearing up for the Fall season and they've just gone ahead and proven once again why they're my favorite place in the city for movies -- the month of November has just become "Total Verhoeven" Month, as they're doing a full retrospective of the Dutch filmmaker! From his earliest shorts all the way up to his wonderful new film Elle, with every amazing offensive gaudy and gorgeous frame in between accounted for! And he'll be there for it! I know what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, and it's sex and violence and three-titted hookers and doggy chow and brain-bugs and Carice Van Houten dying her pubic hair! Oh my...

Aaron Got a Haircut, Armie Got a Massage

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Aaron Johnson's wife Sam posted just that shot on Instagram from Venice, where they are about to premiere Tom Ford's Nocturnal Animals, which means if we're lucky (and they're smart) we'll be getting pictures of him & Jake Gyllenhaal & Armie Hammer & Michael Shannon & Karl Glusman all standing really really reeeeeally close - I don't want any Amy Adams & Isla Fisher stuck in between the dudes to de-gay the moment, yo! Anyway Aaron's incapable of being anything less than 100% fuckable but I just don't know about this haircut... what do you guys think?
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In related news Armie Hammer recently shared this: 

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Birthday massage... Check. #painisweaknessleavingthebody

A photo posted by Armie Hammer (@armiehammer) on Aug 28, 2016 at 5:02am PDT

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Ouch!

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I'll Be Praying You Get Nut Cancer

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Oh goodness look at that new picture of Jake. 

That is really something. (via)

Anyway I missed it but yesterday was the 15th anniversary of Bubble Boy! (This post's title is a quote from the movie - I hope nobody thought for an instant that I wish anything but love upon Jake Gyllenhaal's testicles.) But we do all agree that Bubble Boy is a terrific dumb comedy right? It's the movie that gave me my online avatar after all, so it has a real and profound legacy in the world.

You can scan some of our old Bubble Boy posts here if you so desire. This makes me realize that his other 2001 masterpiece, Richard Kelly's Donnie Darko, is also approaching it's 15th anniversary - that film came out in October of that year. So we'll be celebrating that soon! In summation here is a picture of Jake with John Waters in 2006 that I have never seen before, just because.

Daniel Craig Gets Hard

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Shooting has begun on Steven Soderbergh's Lucky Logan and Daniel Craig's been photographed with a platinum blond buzz-cut and prison tattoos and my heart... my heart, you guys.... it is fucking swooning.

This is the best he's looked in awhile -- the Bond movies had started to make him scrub down his inherent roughness and this hard lean into scuzzy roughness is just what we needed.

What is the Opposite of Hardcore?

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I met some very nice, very smart people during my brief two-year stint in film school, but there was this one dude who I couldn't stand - let's just call him Entitled Whity Number One, or EWNO for short. EWNO came into class convinced he knew everything, where "everything" in his language translated to him having more money to spend than the rest of us, the better to show off with, and show off was all he did. The short films he made during our time together (together is a bit strong - let's say adjacent, our time adjacent) were expensive and incoherent and loud and it was clear to me that if anybody in my class was going to be successful he was probably going to be successful because god he was terrible.

I thought a lot about him while watching Hardcore Henry, which is a garbage movie. It's the Crank movies (which are good movies!) told via first-person perspective, meaning it's a lot of people screaming directly at the camera, and the camera falling off buildings, and then leering directly at lots of breasts. The Crank movies are straight-dude movies too, but they're witty and cleverly offensive and Jason Statham is a deranged joy to watch. 

Hardcore Henry is anything but a joy to watch. It is a sexist slog, relentlessly derivative and just plain dull - it thinks it's reinvented the wheel but it's really just one long skid-mark instead. My film school professor would try to get EWNO to learn things about film technique - really basic things like editing and where to place the camera - but he wasn't having any of it, and Hardcore Henry feels like it's hot off the dick of some dude like him who doesn't need that shit. He is rewriting film language, all by himself - fuck one hundred years of cinema in the throat! 

Nobody is going to be looking at Hardcore Henry one hundred years from now to garner lessons about anything - this is not the new Battleship Potemkin, dude. It's the anti-clever, it's the anti-watchable, it is the anti-entertainment. It's a limp dick, dude. Your dick is sad and limp. Put it back in your pants and go home.

Andrew Garfield Five Times

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The great photographer Ellen von Unwerth shot Andy for this month's issue of L'Uomo Vogue and I am so super into these pictures of him, you guys. She always makes everybody look three days into an old-timey opium bender and I just wish I was there in a matching silken robe massaging his feet. Hit the jump for all of the shots...

Isabelle's Basic Instinct

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A new trailer for Paul Verhoeven's rape-comedy Elle has been released and while I suggest you watch no trailers for the movie and just go in as fresh-brained as a daisy (because daisies are innocent and virginal and have brains, is apparently what I am saying there) I am still posting it because I have seen the movie myself - here's my rave review! - and I loved it so and it gives me the chance to make a gif of Isabelle Huppert handling a fucking axe, that's why. 

But if you're questioning your will to watch what I keep describing as a "rape comedy" this trailer is a good place to start - it does a surprisingly good job at establishing the tricky tone (understatement of the century) that Verhoeven pulls off like child's play. People toss the word "Master" on anybody that makes self-serious nonsense but Verhoven makes them look like the bunk they are. He is The Movies.

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The movie opens on the coasts on November 11th and I can't really shout its praises from my mountaintop loud enough. I adore Elle with every fiber of my fibrous being. See this shit. See it twice, then two more times for indecency's sake. You'll be a better, wittier, more damaged person on the other side of it -- I promise!

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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My boyfriend watched is a really big Elvis fan and he watched Elvis and Nixon the other night by himself (I had already seen and reviewed it for Tribeca) and the only thing he came out of it saying was that Alex Pettyfer is terrible, just terrible. Sorry, Alex! I don't remember him being especially terrible - I just recall he had a nothing role to play in a really inconsequential and silly historical footnote of a story. 

Anyway that silly business reminded me to check Alex's Instagram and here we are, with a few more pictures from his vacation. (See the previous batch of pictures right on over at yonder Tumblr.)