Monday, August 31, 2020

Just Me To You, It's Not You, It's Me

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“’Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.’ That’s an Oscar Wilde quote.”

And that’s a Jessie Buckley quote, or at least a line spoken by the actress Jessie Buckley in Charlie Kaufman’s telescopically quotidian new film I’m Thinking of Ending Things, premiering on Netflix Friday. Jessie Buckley is playing, well, in the credits she is playing “The Young Woman” but in the film before the end credits she’s playing, well, other people. Both “Young” and “Woman” eventually become suspect enough that I come to doubt the “The” as well. Other seems assured enough.

It’s complicated. Tinged, you might say. That’s what Jesse Plemons character says. “Everything is tinged,” Jesse Plemons says. Jake says. His character’s name is Jake. The actor, like the actress, is named Jesse, give or take an I.

Our Jess(i)es are on a road trip. Every couple who lasts long enough to have one has one. A first. Also a last, since a first is always a last, as there is only one first. In that way a last is also a first, because it’s the first last. So Jake is taking his girlfriend, his friend who is also, probably, a girl, played by Jessie Buckley, on the road to his hometown to meet his parents (played with delectable rubber-faced menace slash delight by Toni Collette and David Thewlis). For the first and last time.

Who hasn’t done that? It’s perfectly normal. Like how saying something is “perfectly normal” immediately renders its normality suspect. Mugging faces, stage paint. We have all been through it. Unless we haven’t. But we all have. I went through it watching this movie, and so will you, if you watch this movie. See? That’s everybody. We’re the only people here, you and I.

But I have also gone through it in real life. I can’t speak for you. I have gone through it both ways – I have been taken home to see a hometown, and I have taken home to show my hometown. It is, as they say, a rite of passage. As they say. You know the gist – here is where I was born, here is where I died -- it was only a short time for you, you took no notice. That is what Kim Novak says to Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo. But it’s what I mean, too. 

You show your beloved the field where you played as a child. The swing-set where you broke something. There is where my grandmother lived, when she still lived, you say. (My grandmother is dead.) This is my high school. Was. I went there a long time ago, but it could have been yesterday. Doesn’t it feel that way sometimes? Sometimes you close your eyes and it’s yesterday, or sometimes you’re already dead and then you close your eyes.

It's very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present, you know what I mean? That’s a quote from Little Edie in Grey Gardens. I heard it in a Rufus Wainwright song first. In that way it will always be a Rufus Wainwright quote – everything is colored, tinged, by everything else. Even Grey Gardens. Especially Grey Gardens. Remember Grey Gardens, they say.

You take your person to these places and show them these things convinced that they will add up to a you. Nouns akimbo. Like a sandbox full of ashes, you push and pile and glue the pieces together into a general you shape, twist its mouth into a smile, wave hello. This is me, you say. “It’s not you it’s me,” you say. A snowman of soot memories. A stack of books.

That’s the conundrum of a relationship – we join with other people so that we ourselves can in turn be seen. Known. Remembered. One person can’t make a relationship. One person can’t make a person. If there’s nobody there to see you when your tree falls over in the forest who sings? It takes two. Or three, four, what have you. As the book that came before the movie asks, you can’t be The World’s Greatest Kisser without a person(s) to kiss, now can you? (You can possibly be the World’s Smartest Person, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of maggots.)

An adaptation nay an exorcism of Iain Reid’s 2016 horror-tinged novel by the same name, I’m Thinking of Ending Things is fiercely sweetly disturbed Kaufmanesque territory we find ourselves wandering into. Matrix-like glitches erase pauses, costumes, moments. An Eternal Sunshine-esque storm of snowflakes blots out details both big and small – Jake and his girlfriend, his friend who is also, probably, a girl, could drive deep through Synecdoche and well across Montauk for all we can tell, so blank is the canvas they trot across -- nothing but footprints filling up, quickly whiting away.

If you see just one set of footprints, as they say, it’s because Jesus is there, watching, waiting, hiding somewhere sinister ready to strike. I think somebody said that but I can’t remember who. It might have been Madonna.

So the Jess(i)es walk Jesus-like in each other’s footprints, sorting each other out. One offers the other slippers, the other offers the other tire chains. For the snow. There’s something one doesn’t like in the basement – scratches, a convulsing Border Collie. Jessie Buckley says she is thinking of ending things. Like the title. She says the title, first. Bad vibes enclose, encircle. Ending what? Something is trying to get in. Or maybe out? It’s complicated.

Listen. Charlie Kaufman, like this review, isn’t for everybody. But you know that already. If you stopped reading this review one paragraph in you know it without me telling you that. And if you made it this far you know it now, because I just said it. Either way. It ended before it began or our understanding of it began when it ends, because the end is what made sense of it. Completed it. Total, sum, game. Try to draw a line without giving it an end, I double triple dog dare you.

Some people can just make the lines into circles and the circles into stars and the stars into everything, and Charlie Kaufman is one of those people. I’m Thinking of Ending Things is everything. Lines, circles, stars. It’s two people sitting in a car singing jingles and it’s a heart and a brain exploding like fireworks. Ka-pow. Funny Thumb Gesture here. It’s life and death and it’s whatever all that little big stuff connecting those impossibly-extricated persons and places and things are. It’s a pile of pig ash, a frozen body behind a barn, and it’s a beautiful ballet making beautiful ballets out of beautiful ballets where no beautiful ballet had been before. Two to metaphorically tango.


The Island of Misfit Hammer Movies

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For all of the lesbian vampire movies I have staked my claim with it turns out there are literal actual tons of Hammer Films productions I have never seen -- the famed British Production house didn't just make Christopher Lee Lesbian Vampire movies! They had their hands in all sorts of metaphorical heaving movie bodices -- swashbucklers and science-fiction, dinosaurs, whatever the flavor of the day was you can bet Hammer bit off a piece of it. Which is why my eyes popped out of their head when I stumbled upon news of this forthcoming blu-ray boxed-set from them!

10 discs and 20 movies all dropping on November 17th! And right now it's only priced at 110 bucks, which is just about five bucks per movie. And I know, I also wish it was going to be out in time for Halloween, but we can't have everything. And like I said the set's not just Horror -- they're dipping into all of Hammer's genres with this thing. if you hit the jump I'll give you all the titles, and you tell me in the comments which of them you've seen...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... suns out buns out with ...

... Ansel Elgort and pals.

(For the record I don't know where these came from!)
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Justin: Well, diplomats have to
go where they're sent.
Tessa: So do labradors.

The movie that gave the goddess we call Rachel Weisz an Oscar -- and therefore a very important movie indeed! -- turns 15 today! Have any of you watched it recently? I haven't seen it since it came out, and it's funny looking back and the ten sentences I offered up as my "review" back in 2005 (I hate linking to things I wrote when this site was first starting so please, my apologies) because I say in there that  I've grown "especially fond of Weisz" and little did I know how fast and hard that fondness would grow. (I adore her now, is my point.) Anyway TCG has been talked about in a few pieces over at TFE in the past month or so -- here's one on Ralph Fiennes performance, and here's the Supporting Actress Smackdown for that year -- which have really got me wanting to revisit the movie sooner rather than another fifteen years from now.
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Army Brats Gone Wild

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So much content dropping this morning I can barely type my fat little fingers fast enough. It's just fourteen days until Luca Guadagnino's limited series We Are Who We Are drops onto HBO and they've just dropped a new trailer -- see the previous one here -- which gives us a much fuller idea...

... of what the show is and about.  I am getting hard Euphoria-in-Italy vibes? But I much say the trailer is much fuller, except -- and it's a big except! -- I don't think we see much of Synonyms actor Tom Mercier in this one? That is unacceptable, especially given...


... the shit Tom's been sharing on his social media this past weekend. He is owed! So here I am, mentioning him. Anyway WAWWA premieres on September 14th and I don't think I need to tell y'all I will be there, like gangbusters. And I hope you will be joining me! Here's the new trailer:

Pics of the Day

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Part of me is hesitant to even utter the D word -- not not that one, heavens not that one -- after Warner Brothers went and scalped MNPP's Facebook over the weekend for daring to share something that they had released into the world themselves, but who am I kidding? I can't not cover the Dune movie starring Timothée Chalamet -- I don't have those sorts of standards. I am, in the wise words of Margaret White, weak and backsliding, and I like their filthy roadhouse whiskey breath, and I liked his hands all over me touching me, so on and forth so. So here we are sharing the latest batch of Officially Sanctioned Images From The Movie Dune, all via Empire Magazine (thx Mac) -- including their three different covers, one of which shows off concept art for this version's sand-worms, seen up top! I was really hoping they'd just CG Tim Burton's sand-worms in...

... but I guess that dream's not to be. Alas! They have instead decided to have our favorite future characters be menaced by giant gaping assholes -- hey I get it. We've all been there. And we are also getting Oscar Isaac with full salt-and-pepper beard, and for that we can't be anything but grateful. Hit the jump for all of the images...

Dacre Montgomery Seven Times

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Our favorite Stranger Things sleaze-ball Dacre Montgomery, stache and all, is covering Esquire Singapore this month (via) -- he's got a rom-com called The Broken Hearts Gallery coming out in September that has him opposite Blockers actress Geraldine Viswanathan, so I guess that's why, since there's no Stranger Things on the immediate horizon. I'm surprised he doesn't have more lined up on his IMDb but who knows what wrenches COVID has tossed into young actor's upward trajectories. And maybe I'm the only one obsessed with Dacre? I don't know. I don't get out of my bubble very much. Wow this post went weird fast. Hit the jump for the rest of this shoot...

He Believes In You

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It's only thirty seconds long but the first teaser for the re-do of Stephen King's The Stand has arrived, giving us pretty quick glimpses of several of the characters -- more than several actually, they manage to squeeze in most of the main ones, I think, including obviously Alexander Skarsgard as the big bad Randall Flagg, seen above. I'm a little surprised how little we see of James Marsden...

... playing Flagg's equal and opposite hot piece Stu Redman -- just a quick flash, by my count? But we've got plenty of time and no doubt we'll see more than 30 seconds of content before the ten-episode series hits CBA All Access on December 17th. (thx Mac) Watch:

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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Good morning, happy Monday, and most importantly a very happy 71st birthday to Richard Gere today -- we here at MNPP count ourselves among the world's biggest Gere-stans; don't believe us? Check the archives. That said I've never shared these scenes from Gere's 1978 flick Bloodbrothers -- mostly because I was hoping I'd get my hands on a better copy. That day hasn't come, so I'm just going to town on what I've got, and if the day comes when what I've got is better quality I will go to town on that as well. Richard Gere deserves to be gone to town on as many times as possible.

Anybody seen this flick? Even though I just talked a good game I'll admit I've never actually watched this movie start to finish -- like I said, waiting for a decent copy. Anyway it was directed by Robert Mulligan, director of To Kill a Mockingbird, it co-stars Tony Lo Bianco of The Honeymoon Killers fame (who can also be caught in these gifs tighty-whitying it up as Gere's father)...

... and Gere's character's name is, and I pause for emphasis, "Stony De Coco" ... so I probably really ought to should see this movie, shouldn't I? Well until then, we've got these gifs, after the jump...

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Henry Zaga Five Times

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This post is in no way intended as an encouragement for y'all to risk going out to a movie theater this weekend to see The New Mutants, which has this handsome young Brazilian fellow Henry Zaga (formerly of Teen Wolf, and future-ly of the new miniseries adaptation of Stephen King's The Stand) here playing the mutant called "Sunspot" -- in fact quite the opposite! Why risk actual literal death in order to go see a movie that's been sitting on a shelf for three years and is, by all accounts, dreary, when you can get the milk (i.e. this photoshoot) for free? Apologies to the many groovy people involved -- Anya Taylor-Joy! Alice effin' Braga! -- but let's all just agree this round should be sat the heck out. And then hit the jump...

Matthias Schoenaerts One Time

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I am really feeling Matty's hair today. That is to say I mean I am emotionally feeling it, the chaos that is; he is unfortunately not at the current moment allowing me to run my fingers through it, to literally feel it, but I have big hopes for the future. Keep hope alive, y'all! Dream large! Et cetera. Here's a related thing:

I Might Have Known it Would Be Red

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Today the New York Film Festival announced their "Spotlight" line-up, which includes the new film by Sofia Coppola starring Bill Murray; a documentary about voter suppression here in the US as well as one about police brutality in France; Spike Lee's concert film showcasing David Byrne's stage-show American Utopia; a doc about an unearthed conversation about filmmaking between Orson Welles and Dennis Hopper, and drumroll please Pedro Almodovar's short-film English-language debut called The Human Voice starring Tilda Swinton in an adaptation of a Jean Cocteau story. I have talked about the latter a lot! Anyway you can read all of that on the NYFF's website, but here I've got the very first, very brief, but stunningly red clip from Almodovar's film for you to check out!

Today's Mood

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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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This week's edition of our forever running "Thursday's Ways Not To Die" series has some nudie bits in it  -- above and even beyond the usual gruesomeness you bloodthirsty wretches have come to expect, nay demand -- and so I will now take the remainder of this post, with its bits both nudie and gruesome, right on after the jump...

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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If you'd have told me these shots of Vincent Cassel were from a movie that came out today I'd have believed you -- that's what I actually thought they were until I looked up the movie they're from, which is 2010's Our Day Will Come. (thx Mac) Ten years ago! He looks exactly the same. I mean it helps that he started leaning into the craggy unwashed silver-fox look way back -- it buys you some time. Anyway clearly I never saw this movie, so I ask you people -- have you seen it? Should I? Or is Vincent Cassel's familiar little friend, giffed below, the movie's only highlight?Answer me that and hit the jump for the NSFW junk...
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Wednesday, August 26, 2020

John David Washington Five Times

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Back in June I shared a few photos with you of JDW here in Esquire magazine, the US edition, and asked if y'all were planning on seeing Christopher Nolan's Tenet on a big screen or not -- most of you said you were not planning on it. But now the real test is here! Because the movie is apparently out, in some places! Not here in NYC so I don't have to make any decisions (I love not making decisions), not that it even was one for me since I am cold and indifferent to Christopher Nolan movies on the best of days.... years. In the best of years, even! Of which 2020 most assuredly doesn't make the list. Anyway if y'all go see Tenet the best of luck with that -- stay safe, please! I personally am fine and happy just sitting here with this new batch of Esquire photos of JDW, this time via the German edition, and the remainder of which you can see right on after the jump...