Thursday, August 29, 2019

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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Seeing as how this scene (from Yann Gonzalez's 2018 film Knife+Heart) gets, as you can probably already tell in just three frames, a little NSFW even before we get to all the stabbing with weaponized dildos, I'm going to go right ahead and take the rest of this week's "Way Not To Die" post after the jump...

Raoul Bova Two Times

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There are a couple more photos from this shoot here at this link -- I have to admit I'm not totally loving the longer hair on him? They definitely airbrushed that flip off for their cover image too, which makes me think somebody at the magazine agrees. Still do keep in mind -- this is Raoul Bova. I'm nitpicking. He can abduct me for sexual reasons any time he wants to. 


Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Charlie: If it takes a watermelon five minutes
to water how long does it take a sweetpea to pee?
As long as it takes a pair of dice to crap.

I can't pretend that I've ever been much of an Elliott Gould fan this morning here as we mark his 81st birthday today -- in my experience he's a straight people thing, although perhaps the Barbra connection mints him in some gay's minds, I don't know. I suppose speaking for all gay people when it comes to anything, much less Elliott Gould, is a fool's errand. I mean, he's at least got Jason Gould in his corner I suspect! Anyway my point is I've never really been much of an Elliott Gould person but then the below photograph came into my life just a couple of weeks ago and I gotta admit I been thinking thoughts!


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Fifty Days, Ya Landlubber

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Robert Eggers' film The Lighthouse comes out in fifty days -- that's October 18th in case you haven't got your lab coat on -- and what better way to mark the occasion than with some brand new stills? Okay the best "better way" to mark the occasion would be to give me a screening of The Lighthouse tonight. I'll grant you that. But the second best better way is with new stills, I guess. Click here for the trailer. And then hit the jump for the rest of these new pictures...

Good Morning, World

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This morning we're wishing the film director Joel Schumacher a happy 80th birthday with a hint of Jason Patric In Lost Boys Goodness -- if you read that massive, and massively entertaining, interview with Schumacher at Vulture that was making the rounds earlier this week then you probably got the sense that he shared something in common with the rest of us sentient beings during that period which was a healthy crush on Jason Goddamned Patric. A'duh! I wanted to pick a quote from that interview to give "Quote of the Day" treatment but I was having trouble choosing just one -- it's one of those ones for the ages. So click on over and read the whole damn thing. True story: I was once at a party at Bret Easton Ellis' apartment and Schumacher was there! I didn't talk to him though. That's it. That's the story. All of my celeb stories (well, except for the Kevin Williamson one) end the same way. "I saw them across the room but didn't say anything." Funny that Joel didn't bring that up in his interview, isn't it? I'm sure it left a deep impression on him.


Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Daniel Brühl Twenty-Three Times

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Ahh this is a sweet, too rare treat -- a new photoshoot starring our bearded German boyfriend Danny Brühl! Thanks to the folks at Men's Health (via) for these -- besides the second season of The Alienist currently filming (have you voted on that tuxedo poll between him and Luke Evans yet?) Brühl has also got the Falcon and the Winter Soldier TV show ahead -- he's reprising his bad guy called Helmut Zemo, last seen in Captain America: Civil War -- if you need a refresh on that character click here. I sure did -- I thought he died in that movie but I guess he was just arrested? Here's to hoping him and Sebastian Stan get to tussle, then. Anyway this is a fairly sizable batch of new photos, bless 'em for it, so hit the jump for the rest... 

Today We Are All Alexander Skarsgård's Privates

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Okay I saw at Tribeca this past spring the movie The Kill Team, which the above brand new still of a shirtless and mustachioed Alexander Skarsgård purports to be from, and I don't really recall this scene at all. And seeing as how I would recall such a thing -- and then some! -- I have to think they maybe added this scene in since they screened it at Tribeca. I mean I do recall a brief flash of Alexander changing pants in the film, so clearly -- clearly! -- I was on the look out for such moments. As one does when one watches a movie that has Alexander Skarsgård with a mustache wearing (or half not wearing, in the above case) a military uniform. 

Anyway I never got around to reviewing The Kill Team which is a shame because I remember thinking it was pretty decent, but we'll all get the chance to see it and decide for our lonesomes for the first or in my case the second time come October 25th, when A24 is releasing it in theaters and on demand. This will actually make it the second movie this fall starring Nat Wolff trapped in a group of manly macho men -- see also yesterday's trailer for Semper Fi with him and Jai Courtney. In The Kill Team Wolff is a newbie in Afghanistan whose fellow soldiers, led by Skarsgård as their commanding sergeant -- and how commanding he is! -- are spinning dangerously, sweatily, out of control. Here's the trailer: 
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... kneeling for the holy father.

Back in April we were blessed -- BLESSED!!! -- with paparazzi pictures of Jude Law shooting these scenes for the second season of The Young Pope, now titled The New Pope. Are these scenes actually in the show, or are they specifically for this, the first trailer? Who fucking cares, pardon my cuss, just enjoy.
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Paolo Sorrentini's show is premiering at Venice shortly, and will hit the UK's Sky TV some time after that, and then if it's anything like the first season it will hit HBO way way down the line long after I've watched all of the episodes online. Hit the jump for a couple more deliciously blasphemous gifs from this teaser...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Oliver: Is there anything you don't know?
Elio: I know nothing, Oliver.
Oliver: Well, you seem to know more
than anyone else around here.
Elio: Well, if you only knew how little I
really know about the things that matter.
Oliver: What "things that matter?"
Elio: You know what things.
Oliver: Why are you telling me this?
Elio: Because I thought you should know.
Oliver: Because you thought I should know?
EliElio: Because I wanted you to know.
Because I wanted you to know.
Because I wanted you to know.
Because I wanted you to know.
Because there's no one else I can say this to but you.
Oliver: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Oliver: Wait for me here. Don't go away.
Elio: You know I'm not going anywhere.

I'm feeling weirdly emotional today (i.e. being me) and reposting this passage of dialogue from Call Me By Your Name here on the occasion of Armie Hammer's 33rd birthday ain't helping. Can you believe it's been months since I've sat and watched CMBYN from start to finish? Months! I actually brought a copy of the blu-ray home with me this past weekend because a friend of mine is a projectionist at an art-house theater and I thought maybe I could sneak in a real honest-to-goodness theatrical screening of it, but time sadly wasn't on my side. But I think it's calling my name, beckoning me back to Summer 1983, Somewhere in Northern Italy...

The two-year anniversary of me seeing this movie is about five weeks away now -- in case you never read it or would like to revisit it here's my piece, knocked on my ass, from the NYFF screening where I first saw it. I was thinking about that piece a lot when I was home this past weekend because I passed through a few of the locations I mention in it and those memories, formative and unforgiving, came flooding back. Anybody watched it recently? "You know I'm not going anywhere..."


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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I wonder if Justin Theroux realizes how fortunate he is to be friends with Amy Sedaris -- whenever he douches out, which is often, I just remind myself that Amy loves him and so I gotta set aside the douche. His new interview with GQ (thx Mac), which comes with these perfectly fine photos, has him douching out over all the secret little hideaways that he loves in Japan, but it does give us this quote at least:

"It's sort of an unhygienic habit to grab people with fists and start pumping away."

Yes I took that totally out of context but it's way better that way, believe me. Anyway it's not all of them, you should click over to GQ for that, but I've got a select few of their perfectly fine photo-shoot of Justin Theroux right here after the jump...

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Milo Ventimiglia Four Times

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Pee-wee: What did you do?
Mickey: Well, I lost my temper and I took a knife
and I... do you know those "Do Not Remove Under
the Penalty of Law" labels they put on mattresses?
Pee-wee: Yeah.
Mickey: Well I cut one of them off!
Pee-wee: Gee.
Mickey: Yeah I have a real bad temper.
Pee-wee: Boy, I always thought that was the dumbest law.

I still to this day don't know whether this is a real law or not, and I don't ever want to know. I mean if I apply my adult sized brain to it it sure for certain sounds ridiculous, but who wants to let that slice of my childhood go? Not this one, fellas! Anyway today marks the birth of our lord and savior Paul Reubens and we can't let that go without a howdy doo -- MNPP wishes the comic legend that lives among us the happiest of days and years. Merci blah blah!


The One Cut is the Deepest

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This Tuesday has turned into a popular drop for movie trailers -- we got Timmy as The King for breakfast, Jai Courtney as a solider cop for lunch, and now here for a bloody afternoon snack we've got the trailer trumpeting the long awaited US release of the Japanese zombie smash One Cut of the Dead!

This movie has been touring the genre fests for awhile now but I kept missing it, so I'm pretty excited about today's news that it's going to play theaters in NYC and LA on September 13th and then get a one night screening event on September 17th for everybody else -- click here to check out all the cities it's playing across the country; it is a lot! But if you can't make that it's also "Coming Soon" to Shudder's streaming service. Anyway here's the trailer (also this shouldn't need to be said but if you want to go into this movie spoiler-free don't, you know, watch this trailer):
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Smile Sunshine Smile

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The best movie of 2019 so far is Ari Aster's Midsommar, and it looks like Ari Aster's Midsommar is getting re-released in some movie theaters this weekend, but not the version you know -- this is the version that me and a few hundred other lucky buttholes who got to see the "Director's Cut" screened in NYC two weekends ago. 
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Still dunno if A24 plans on ever releasing this 25 minute longer cut of the film -- it will definitely NOT be on the blu-ray that they're dropping in October. So perhaps a Special Edition is in our future, or perhaps you need to get your ass to the theater this weekend to see this cut now. If you loved the movie the original way...

... I really recommend catching the longer version. I know I never wrote up my thoughts on it properly (you can and should click here for MNPP pal Kristy Puchko's take on the differences though) but it's all a net gain, says me -- the cut scenes fill out moments the original left a mite too vague, and really properly allow us to live and breathe and soak and trip our balls off in the world Aster's artfully created for us. ETA you can see where the film's playing and buy your tickets right at this link!
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... booked hard by Finn & Jai.

It looks like the movie that was Semper Fi that got its title changed to the boring and bland Edge of Dawn has gotten its title changed back to Semper Fi again, at least according to the trailer that just got released. Semper Fi is a better title! Score one for better movie titles.

But the movie also immediately then gets a point deducted for showing off a truly awful back tattoo on Jai Courtney's beautiful back in that same trailer, so I guess we're at even again. But hey "even" here is not so bad, since this movie does star Jai and Finn and Nat Wolff...

... and we saw them all shooting a pool scene that one time, and it also promises to have Jai wearing both military and cop uniforms at some point in it. That's a hell of a good base to start off from. Here's the trailer:
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Semper Fi hits theaters and demand on October 4th.


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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